Extending the pleasure
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago." no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Brian Mason quote "
You cheeky colonial fuc Censored er!!!!




OK OK OK

Picks up car keys from counter.........waddles to nearest door.
(must've been my shout )

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Two Aussies, Davo and Johnno, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging
through the boat's provisions, Davo stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed
the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth. This genie, however, stated
that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without
giving much thought to the matter, Davo blurted out, "Turn the entire
ocean into beer. Make that Victoria Bitter!" The genie clapped his hands
with a deafening crash, and immediately the sea turned into the "hard
earned thirst" quencher. The genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of
beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their
circumstances. Johnno looked disgustedly at Davo whose wish it had been.
After a long... tension filled moment Johnno said....

Nice going Davo! Now we're gunna have to pi$$ in the boat!!!

A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.
The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The young man answered, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home."

The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day on the
job was challenging and busy, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how
many sales did you make today?"

The Aussie said "One."

The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Here in Harrods, our sales
people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

"£108,637.64", the Aussie replied.

The manager choked and exclaimed "£108,637.64? What the hell did you sell
him?"

"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and
then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going
fishing
and he said down at the coast so I told him he would need a boat, so we
went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power
Cat.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him
down
to Harrods car sales and I sold him a Cayenne "

The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here
to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?"

"No, no, no......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and
I said........."Well, since your weekend's f*cked, you might as well go
fishing.""

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Think the second one is great

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

 no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave." no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot. no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

pussy wrote:

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

So..., errrr, where exactly, errrrr, is this err, this err, you know, errrrr, thingy????  MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

on a music sheet ,silly!  no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.