A man sits down in a restaurant, gets hit on the back of the head with a prawn cocktail

…he looks round and a bloke points at him and says "and that’s just for f****** starters"!!! it's just a blue oil burner

 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

So this Frenchman walks into a bar with a Parrot on his
shoulder and the bartender says "Say, that's pretty neat. Where
did you get it?"

And the Parrot replies "I got him in France. They have millions
of 'em!" Range Rover Vogue ‘17 TDV6

Gone: Range Rover Vogue '11 4.4TDV8, Range Rover Sport ‘59, Range Rover Sport ‘56

Teddy bear walks sits down in a restaurant...

Waiter asks "ready to order, sir?"

Teddy bear replies "no, nothing for me, I'm stuffed!" it's just a blue oil burner

Q: How do you make a snooker table laugh?
A: Put your hands in its pockets and tickle its balls. 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

I hate French jokes.

They're crêpe. Range Rover Vogue ‘17 TDV6

Gone: Range Rover Vogue '11 4.4TDV8, Range Rover Sport ‘59, Range Rover Sport ‘56

A boy asks his granny,

'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'

Granny replies,

F@&k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?! Range Rover Vogue ‘17 TDV6

Gone: Range Rover Vogue '11 4.4TDV8, Range Rover Sport ‘59, Range Rover Sport ‘56

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?

He lies awake at night, wondering if there is a Dog! it's just a blue oil burner

“Bought a trampoline to replace our bed - the wife nearly hit the roof”

“I just split up with my cross eyed girlfriend - I was sure she was seeing someone else”

"Never joke about a dwarf with an IQ of 60 - its not big and its not clever !" RRS TDv8 HSE Rimini
Disco 4 TDv6 HSE Ipanema
Defender 90, 200tdi CSW

TLIOPS ON EETNARUAG? WHATS THAT IN CHINEESE  purple people eater

There are no good days, just some days that are not as bad as others!


Gone RR 4.0 P38 Autobiography MY99 Red ( money pit)
Gone RRS MY06 2.7TDV6 HSE Rimini Red
Gone RRS MY10 3.0TDV6 HSE Bali Blue with lots of bits (never grew to love it)
Here Now - 3.6 TDV8 FFRR OVERFINCH Stornoway Grey - loving it x
My work car Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDci Zetec auto Estate in Silver

may have been a tardy response to a 2007 post  purple people eater

There are no good days, just some days that are not as bad as others!


Gone RR 4.0 P38 Autobiography MY99 Red ( money pit)
Gone RRS MY06 2.7TDV6 HSE Rimini Red
Gone RRS MY10 3.0TDV6 HSE Bali Blue with lots of bits (never grew to love it)
Here Now - 3.6 TDV8 FFRR OVERFINCH Stornoway Grey - loving it x
My work car Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDci Zetec auto Estate in Silver

One fast sheep

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep
hole.

"Wow...that looks deep."

"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.

"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks
down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole
and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his
face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a
railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in,
it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two men drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a
sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a sheep appears, running like the
wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them,
running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air
and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...
Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.

Hey... you two guys seen my sheep out here?

You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy
and just jumped into this hole!

Nah, says the farmer, That couldn't have been MY sheep. My sheep was
chained to a railroad tie. '08 RRS TDV8
I converted my diesel RRS to run on an environmentally friendly mixture of caribou fat and baby seals oil

A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'

The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page...

So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'

The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:



U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT

AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.

if anyone in the north east knows he whereabouts of gunman raoul moat,can you please tell him that john terry,frank lampard,ashley cole,steven gerrard, & wayne rooney also shagged his girlfriend!!!!!!! Gone,,TDV8 arctic frost,black leather,colour coded handles,rear entertainment,sunroof.
1980 Rolls Royce,shadow 2 in white.
Gone 07/57 TDV8 santorino,black leather.chrome handle's/mirror's.
Gone 02/52 FFRR vogue.