Dear Forum!

Not a happy subject but one I need advice on, and where better to go than my estimed colleagues, friends and aquaintantces on RRSPORT.CO.UK.

So, as the title suggests it looks as though my marriage is over after 15 years. My needs to pursue a different lifestyle (which doesn't entail following all the other sheep) plus my wife's (soon to be Ex) need to be showered with money seem to be at odds with our harmonious relationship continuing.

So, to my question which I am opening to the general intelect of the forum..............how the f*ck do you seperate/dicorce? What are the steps which need to be taken and how have others done it?

How is child maintenance calculated? I have a 14 year old son and want to to the best for him but also need to change the type of work I'm doing which will mean less income.Is child maintenance calculated from income or "worth".

We need to sell the house.....The house we live in has been in my wife's family for 3 generations. She can't buy me out and I certainly don't want to buy her out. Is it fair (gut feeling) to sell the house and split the proceeds? (I think I'm feeling unsure on this as I'm still considered an "outsider" afer being in this village for nearly 20 years)

Assuming the house does get sold and the mortgage is paid of and the proceeds split does anyone have experience of living on a narrow boat? I've holidayed on one many times and want to make the move to living on one but are there any down falls I should be aware of?

Please do not come back with councilling will work...I really don't think either of us have the mentality to "change" so we can "get through this". As I said earlier we've been maried 15 years and know each other too well to do the councilling route. We both want out (I'm typing this now as I have just been physically kicked out of the marital bed) so I am looking for info / sources of information which will make this transition as quick and painless as possible.

I bow to the collective wisdom of the forum and apologise for putting such a depressive topic in the "Off Topic" area.

regards

Jonty! Current: I can't say...Oh the Shame!
Gone: 2003 Audi S4 - 340BHP of Fun
Gone: 2005 RRS SE, Silver, Chrome Mirrors, Tinted with a stupid spare wheel!
Gone: Audi A4 2.5 TDi Quattro 180bhp
Gone: BMW 535i
Gone: 1985 Audi Quattro
Gone: Subaru Imprezza Turbo (rubbish)

I went through a divorce nearly 20 years ago but it was in Scotland, I would advise you to get some legal councilling say through citizens advice, they can give you advice and much better than I could.
If you were in Scotland I would have steered you to http://www.myscottishdivorce.co.uk/ which is run by a friend of mine (also a D3 driver) Sons of dogs come hither and get flesh
Clan Cameron

http://www.myscottishdivorce.co.uk/ incredible that a net address like this exists  
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Bruce is very clued up and has used the internet for a very long time, for his over seas clients (like me) he uses Skype to have "face to face" consultations. He told me about the new website the last time I was back in Wick but today is the first time I visited it ... had to make sure the wife wasn't looking over my shoulder there  Sons of dogs come hither and get flesh
Clan Cameron

Find a solicitor that does family law and get a consultation - AFAIK free in the first instance - worth it, gives you a steer....

Sorry to hear of this. I'm in Scotland too but I went through my divorce about 10 years ago and got it finalised 5 years ago! Scottish law on this allows it to drag on for up to 5 years, which she happily did as she got legal aid and I'd to pay my own!

You really need to get a decent solicitor firstly! I know in England you can get through it a lot quicker which may be a blessing!

Child Maintenance alias the CSA are a TOTAL menace! If you can, try and arrange something to pay for your son privately! I've had such a nightmare with them I've had the local MP in twice! (For all the good he was). The 1st timed they gave me a figure they actually left me with 58 quid a week to pay gas, electric, phone, car food etc while handing her over twice that amount to my ex to keep a 3 year old!

I gave them the option to reduce it or I'd be paid off indefinately.... After 2 weeks of unemployment they wrote and decreased it by HALF! Remember if you use them not all the money gets to your ex! They keep some for "administration"

I know it seems all doom and gloom just now but it does get better eventually!

Keep thinking positively and try to sort out as much as you can privately! My solicitors bill ended up at £13000 at the end through her quibbling and arguing every little point!

Hope you get it all sorted so you can get on with your life!  Current, M135i in Estoril Blue with more extras than the cast of Ben Hur.

535d m-sport Platinum grey and a few extras.... Gone

X5 3.0 sd in Space Grey, 20's, Dynamic Pack, Memory Pack, Media Pack, Tow Pack, Rear DVD, Panoramic Sunroof, Steps, 7 Seat Pack, Reversing Camera with moving lines, programmable park heat, etc etc etc - Gone

Range Rover Sport Santorini, privacy, dvd, towpack GONE!!!

Child maintenance is 15% of your income for 1 child.

I don't know UK divorces laws, but MAW is right : in any case, avoid to deal directly with your future
ex-spouse.
From past experience (not mine, I won't divorce), but from friends of all ages and various levels of
fortune, this only gets sourer with time. And divorce proceedings can sometimes get protracted,
especially when kids are involved.
A lawyer should give you sound advice, especially as your spouse interests and those of your sons
have to be clearly separated. For instance, your son being already 14, you may decide to split
the proceeds of the house in 3, the third part being available under cerrtains conditions when
he'll come of age. Just my 2 pennies.
Wish you best of luck in these rough times. 2010 TDV6 3.0 HSE Santorini Black Tan Full Leather

Sorry to hear this Jonty  
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Jonny Fresh wrote:

Child maintenance is 15% of your income for 1 child.

Quote:

30% Rule
The 30% rule says that no non-resident parent should pay more than 30% of his net pay by way of child support.

They were certainly taking more than the 30% off of me for a kick off till I stopped working for a fortnight and claimed unemployment benefit too!! I got it over halved to the 51 quid a week mark!! Current, M135i in Estoril Blue with more extras than the cast of Ben Hur.

535d m-sport Platinum grey and a few extras.... Gone

X5 3.0 sd in Space Grey, 20's, Dynamic Pack, Memory Pack, Media Pack, Tow Pack, Rear DVD, Panoramic Sunroof, Steps, 7 Seat Pack, Reversing Camera with moving lines, programmable park heat, etc etc etc - Gone

Range Rover Sport Santorini, privacy, dvd, towpack GONE!!!

Just went through it last year in Scotland. Big changes here - clean break is the maxim.

Collaborative divorce can be efficient if there are kids involved.

Once both parties agree legal date of separation and financial aspects then sign off if required and divorce is less than 3 months.

general times are:

2 years separated then divorce papers can be served for divorce and partner cannot contest.

Whenever if both parties agree there was unreasonable behaviour

Scottish courts have good formulas for pensions etc (mine was complicated as ex forces)

Also good for kids - they make sure its the kids that are looked after not the spouse (unless he/she is classed as a hardship case, disabled, incapacity etc)

Hope it helps

Oh - dont get a solicitor in the same town /city as your partner - They DO talk and get their deals sorted. Now - MY11 RRS Autobiography TDV6, Orkney gray, tints, steps, daylight running lamps and allllll the toys!!!
Ex- RRS HSE TDV6 07 Java Black, bi xenon, corner lights, side steps, tints, cool box, smoke side repeats, chrome "sport" boot sill
Ex - Audi A4 Cab 3.0TDi Quattro
Ex - Freelander2 SE TD4
Ex - CRV Auto

Oh one tip

get the date of separation from when you consider you are separated - not moved out etc. You can be legally separated and stay under the same roof but not live as man and wife.

It helps with the splitting of equity and rebate of any shared responsibility bills you pay in full. And of course the timelines for the type of divorce. Now - MY11 RRS Autobiography TDV6, Orkney gray, tints, steps, daylight running lamps and allllll the toys!!!
Ex- RRS HSE TDV6 07 Java Black, bi xenon, corner lights, side steps, tints, cool box, smoke side repeats, chrome "sport" boot sill
Ex - Audi A4 Cab 3.0TDi Quattro
Ex - Freelander2 SE TD4
Ex - CRV Auto

Have no idea mate but am sorry to hear about your troubles. Good luck.

Wozz wrote:

Jonny Fresh wrote:

Child maintenance is 15% of your income for 1 child.

You're a bit out there Jonny. CSA has always been able to take up to 30% of your net income if you are a non resident parent!!!! This based on the pre-existing and convoluted calculations they have for raping your bank account. Usually the 30% rule below only pulls someones contribution down to that level rather than raising it!

Quote:

30% Rule
The 30% rule says that no non-resident parent should pay more than 30% of his net pay by way of child support.