Sweet lttle girl goes into pet shop and says:
"Excuthe me thir, I'd like a liddle wabbit"
Pet shop owner's heart melts when he sees this lovely sweet little girl, goes down on his knees so he's face to face with her and says:
"Which liddle wabbit would you like, liddle girly, the thoft white fluffy liddle wabbit over there, the big bwack wabbit with the flouncy bouncy ears, or the cuddly, wuddly browny wowney wabbit behind me"
The little girl looks at him, blushes, put her hands between her knees and replies:
"I don't weely fink my pet python givth a ph*k"
A
Apologies to any sweet little girls or pet shop owners who may have been offended by this joke(ette).  Range Rover Evoque 5 door on order.
2006Java/Alpaca/4.4HSE/PTIS/Tracker/pp/Tasmods/Black side repeaters/Custom exhaust (gone but not forgotten!)
Land Rover Defender 110 CSW 200 TDi blue (Offroad prep'ed).
Citroen C4 Grand Picasso
Aston Martin DB9 Tungsten Silver
Another Citroen C4 Grand Picasso (Christinemobile)
1990 Mini Cooper SE - classic! (now sold)
New addition - 1972 Triumph Stag Pimento Red

TENNIS ELBOW

One day Pete was complaining to his friend 'my elbow hurts. I better see a doctor'. His friend said 'Don't do that. There's a computer in the drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaper than visiting a doctor.

Simply put a urine sample in the machine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.00.' Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urine sample.

He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weird nose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper printed. It said: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks.

Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, poured the sample into the machine and deposited $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis: Your water is hard, get a softener. Your dog has worms, get him shots. Your daughter's using cocaine, get her into a rehab clinic. Your wife's pregnant, it's not yours, get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, Your tennis elbow will never get better! RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

All great!  2002 Discovery Adventurer LE
1998 Freelander xedi
Ertl limited edition RRS model number 817

Wonderful!!  Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid." answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid!"

"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."

"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

"Ummm .... she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."

The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

"What do I have to do?"

"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with."

The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.

The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"

"Throw them in the swimming pool!"

"What?! There's no pool here?"

Long pause... "Uh .... is this 221-1811?" Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Legend! 2002 Discovery Adventurer LE
1998 Freelander xedi
Ertl limited edition RRS model number 817

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

All good boys. Keep 'em coming! Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to your brains out, and suck your t*** dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job." RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Keep 'em coming lads.  Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!

Quality Jay!  Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (

All excellent

A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She soon married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.

Alas, she finally croaked.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply."

In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."

Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs." Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

He shoots, he scores!

(Unlike Bolton....) Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (