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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #175193 Thu Jul 03 2008 9:21am
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Supertrotter



Member Since: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Brrrr.... guess where :o(
Posts: 9905

United Kingdom 

Laughing And perfectly believable too! Laughing Thumbs Up Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award Sad
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award Sad
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World Very Happy
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award Sad
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident Sad


06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - Surprised(

Post #175212 Thu Jul 03 2008 11:52am
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

Simple Mathematics

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
-- Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up.
--- Your Wife" Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #175304 Fri Jul 04 2008 1:46am
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #175349 Fri Jul 04 2008 10:26am
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong e-mail address!!!

An Alberta couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out
during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at
the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years
earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left
Calgary and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife
flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an
e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one
letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his
error, sent the e-mail to a wrong person!!!

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned
home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who
was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she
screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room,
found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: January 17, 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to
your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been
checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared
for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
then!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!! Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #176290 Thu Jul 10 2008 3:59am
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Supertrotter



Member Since: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Brrrr.... guess where :o(
Posts: 9905

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up for both! Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award Sad
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award Sad
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World Very Happy
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award Sad
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident Sad


06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - Surprised(

Post #176293 Thu Jul 10 2008 6:13am
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #176299 Thu Jul 10 2008 7:34am
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Officer, this is how the fight started...
I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It was my fault.
So, we both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the driver
of the car I hit gets out of his car. . . And you know how you just
get-so-stressed... And life... Sometimes life seems like...
Suddenly funny?

Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF!
He gets out of his car and I get out of my car.
He is frowning and scowling and he storms over to me.
Right up close at me he looks up in my face and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I look down at
him and I said,

"Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are you?"

And that's when the fight started.

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #176594 Thu Jul 10 2008 10:03pm
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will_wonka



Member Since: 03 Mar 2007
Location: Tminus 12 months for the RS Sport Supercharged!!
Posts: 3377

United Kingdom 

Brilliant Thumbs Up

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter L322 Big Daddy SUPERCHARGED 5.0 Autobiography - Here & Now!

5 series for the miles Smile

RRS S/C factory built HST - Gone

45 others have been and gone!

Post #176596 Thu Jul 10 2008 10:06pm
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #176601 Thu Jul 10 2008 10:39pm
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flydive



Member Since: 16 May 2007
Location: South
Posts: 1213

Switzerland 2008 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Stornoway Grey

In a recent survey, people from Liverpool have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm 'Lynx', a whopping 86% of Liverpudlians said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% admitted that they had never been to prison. '08 RRS TDV8
I converted my diesel RRS to run on an environmentally friendly mixture of caribou fat and baby seals oil


Last edited by flydive on Sun Jul 13 2008 2:12pm. Edited 2 times in total

Post #176959 Sun Jul 13 2008 12:00pm
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing Laughing Confused RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #176969 Sun Jul 13 2008 2:08pm
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Supertrotter



Member Since: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Brrrr.... guess where :o(
Posts: 9905

United Kingdom 

Nice one Jay Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award Sad
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award Sad
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World Very Happy
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award Sad
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident Sad


06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - Surprised(

Post #176973 Sun Jul 13 2008 2:11pm
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flydive



Member Since: 16 May 2007
Location: South
Posts: 1213

Switzerland 2008 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Stornoway Grey

Two Siamese twins walk into a bar in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip.

I'm John, he's Jim.
Two Molsons please'.

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.

'Been on holiday yet, lads?'

'Off to England next month,' says John.
'We go to England every year, hire a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees.

'Ah, England !' says the bartender. ' Wonderful country... the history, the fine beer, the culture...'

'Nah, we don't like that warm British crap beer nor their lousy pub food,' says John. “Hamburgers & Molson’s beer, that's us, eh Jim?
And we can't stand the English - They are arrogant, know-it-all rude bastards.'

'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.

Says John; 'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.' '08 RRS TDV8
I converted my diesel RRS to run on an environmentally friendly mixture of caribou fat and baby seals oil

Post #177038 Sun Jul 13 2008 8:17pm
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #177042 Sun Jul 13 2008 9:22pm
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