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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #170475 Thu May 22 2008 5:13pm
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will_wonka



Member Since: 03 Mar 2007
Location: Tminus 12 months for the RS Sport Supercharged!!
Posts: 3377

United Kingdom 

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

'Oh my GOD!' screamed the woman. 'That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?' The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, 'I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture.'

'Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay,' said the woman.

As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.

Again, the woman screamed, 'Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?'

Again the doctor spoke very calmly: 'Same illness, better health plan.'

Whistle Whistle Whistle L322 Big Daddy SUPERCHARGED 5.0 Autobiography - Here & Now!

5 series for the miles Smile

RRS S/C factory built HST - Gone

45 others have been and gone!

Post #170922 Wed May 28 2008 8:02pm
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Kaine



Member Since: 26 May 2006
Location: Hills of Shropshire
Posts: 8902

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing

Post #170923 Wed May 28 2008 8:06pm
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Vidma



Member Since: 07 Jan 2008
Location: Vilnius
Posts: 6

Lithuania 2008 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Java Black

A little boy walks into his parent's room to see his dad and mom were making love.
The son asked dad, “What were you doing with Mom?”
Father replied, “Well, next week Mom and you are going to the sea side for holidays, so I need to pump some air in to your mother and your mother will not drown in the sea.”
After holidays father told his son, “You see your mother did not drown in the sea”
Son replied, “Well father, who knows how it could finish, but two men pumped some air in to Mom during holidays as well. And you know the pump of one man stack, but Mom helped him, she cleaned it by blowing and...”

Post #170937 Wed May 28 2008 8:59pm
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will_wonka



Member Since: 03 Mar 2007
Location: Tminus 12 months for the RS Sport Supercharged!!
Posts: 3377

United Kingdom 

 L322 Big Daddy SUPERCHARGED 5.0 Autobiography - Here & Now!

5 series for the miles Smile

RRS S/C factory built HST - Gone

45 others have been and gone!

Post #171060 Thu May 29 2008 9:14pm
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Thats not right WW RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #171065 Thu May 29 2008 11:00pm
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...'

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.

Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.'

Mommy fainted!


Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt! Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #171642 Thu Jun 05 2008 2:46am
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #171656 Thu Jun 05 2008 8:02am
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Subject: The Truth

A dad is in a restaurant with his son. The young man is demonstrating how he can catch a pound coin with his mouth after flipping it in the air.

Suddenly, he starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes He has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious-looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the mall, reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the mall.

Reaching the young man, the woman carefully unzips his pants takes hold of his testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then even more firmly. After a few seconds he convulses violently and coughs up the pound coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the lad, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, The father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've Never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replies," I work for the Inland Revenue." RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #171658 Thu Jun 05 2008 8:07am
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #171661 Thu Jun 05 2008 8:21am
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will_wonka



Member Since: 03 Mar 2007
Location: Tminus 12 months for the RS Sport Supercharged!!
Posts: 3377

United Kingdom 



One for the ladies Whistle L322 Big Daddy SUPERCHARGED 5.0 Autobiography - Here & Now!

5 series for the miles Smile

RRS S/C factory built HST - Gone

45 others have been and gone!

Post #171756 Fri Jun 06 2008 12:54am
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

Bad Bernie

Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car.

The only thing he said was, "F.F."

His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F."

Out on the highway, he said, "F.F."

She responded simply, "E.F."

He repeated, "F.F."

She again replied, "E.F."

"Mom! Dad!" their son yelled. "What's going on?"

Bad Bernie answered, "Your mother wants to eat first!" Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #171757 Fri Jun 06 2008 2:56am
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

A French and a Brit gynaecologist were chatting.

French: Just last week there was this woman, her cli**ris was like a melon.

Brit: That’s a lie, she wouldn’t be able to walk if it was.

French: You Brits always talk about size; I was talking about the taste! Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #171760 Fri Jun 06 2008 5:25am
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #171774 Fri Jun 06 2008 8:54am
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

One day in a third-world country...

Above corruption

Once, a minister had gone to see the factory of a car manufacturing company. The owner of the company went out of his way to show him the factory.

At the end of the tour, the owner offered the minister a free car. The minister politely refused to take it.

The owner said, "If that is the case then I'll sell it to you for $500".

Said the minister, removing a $1000 note, "Then give me two!" Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #172040 Mon Jun 09 2008 4:06am
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