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TB



Member Since: 19 Feb 2006
Location: Depends who wants to know . . .
Posts: 5927

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 SE Arctic Frost

A blind man went for a job in wood yard.

The manager tried to turn him away, saying that the wood yard was a dangerous place for a man with his disabilities. And he wouldn't be able to select the correct type of wood for each job etc, etc.

The blind man explained that he could identify any type of wood by smell alone and the wood yard manager agreed to test him out.

The manager tested him with different types of wood and the blind man guessed correctly each time. To try and catch him out the manager's secretary stripped off and lay naked upon the work bench.

The blindman sniffed - he asked for the wood to be turned over and he sniffed again.

Can't fool me, he said. Thats a Censored door off an old fishing boat !!

Post #15289 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:17pm
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Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #15292 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:19pm
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #15295 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:24pm
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Very Annoyed
Site Moderator


Member Since: 23 Aug 2005
Location: bat-wielding monkey-spanking tough-love zero-tolerance Euro-sceptic moderator - So just watch it!
Posts: 19459

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #15300 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:29pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


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Post #15302 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:30pm
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Martin
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Member Since: 26 May 2005
Location: Hook Norton
Posts: 3662

United Kingdom 

Busy day then boys? Rolling Eyes Like this site? Buy some RRSPORT goodies to show your support!

Post #15308 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:34pm
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As always. Keep doing that revision. 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #15311 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:35pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Martin wrote:
Busy day then boys? Rolling Eyes

It's teabreak!!! Well... it's been teabreak since about 9 this morning. 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


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Post #15312 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:36pm
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MDP



Member Since: 14 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

United Kingdom 

Great jokes TB Laughing Laughing Laughing 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Post #15315 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:38pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Thud Thud Thud 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


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Post #15326 Thu Mar 02 2006 2:56pm
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MDP



Member Since: 14 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

United Kingdom 

I'd have SHOT larry Shocked 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Post #15332 Thu Mar 02 2006 3:28pm
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TB



Member Since: 19 Feb 2006
Location: Depends who wants to know . . .
Posts: 5927

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 SE Arctic Frost

Four young teenage girls, disillusioned with life in the modern world decide to run away from home and join a convent.

They knock on the big Convent door which is answered by the Mother Superior. They explain their situation to the Nun and ask if they can all become Nuns.

The Mother Superior asks them all a few questions and once she is convinced of the girls commitment she opens the door wide.

Before the girls actually cross the threshold the Mother Superior asks each of them one last question.

She says to the first girl, " my dear, have you ever seen or touched a mans private parts?"

"Oh Mother Superior" cried the first girl, "I once peeked through the bathroom door whilst my older brother was taking a shower and I did indeed see his private parts"

Please my child, as you pass the font in the convent courtyard splash holy water into your eyes and nothing more will be said of this. replied the Mother Superior

The Mother Superior asked the same question to the second girl. "Well I did touch my boyfriends thing once during heavy petting. " she replied.

Please my child, as you pass the font in the convent courtyard wash your hand in the holy water and nothing more will be said of this. Said the Mother Superior.

As the Mother Superior turned to the third girl in the line, the fourth girl barged her way past the Mother Superior and plunged her head into the font.

"What on earth do you think your doing" demanded the Mother Superior.

"Well", said the fourth girl, "If you think I'm going to gargle that holy water after she's dangled her arse in it you can bloody think again!"

Post #15333 Thu Mar 02 2006 3:28pm
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Not a joke but still funny


Things you can only say at Christmas:
1. I prefer breasts to legs.
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
5. I've never seen a better spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!
19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #15334 Thu Mar 02 2006 3:34pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #15336 Thu Mar 02 2006 3:36pm
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Member Since: 23 Aug 2005
Location: bat-wielding monkey-spanking tough-love zero-tolerance Euro-sceptic moderator - So just watch it!
Posts: 19459

United Kingdom 

I think I've seen this before! Confused

http://www.rrsport.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.p...light=play 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #15348 Thu Mar 02 2006 4:19pm
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