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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Post #137729 Fri Sep 14 2007 8:56pm
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of OAPs when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks her: "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

"We just love the chocolate around them."

Post #137774 Sat Sep 15 2007 7:12pm
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Boobie-Man



Member Since: 03 Aug 2007
Location: Hot & Sunny Jamaica
Posts: 193

Jamaica 

Mad Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down

Post #137806 Sun Sep 16 2007 1:21am
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Shocked Laughing Laughing RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #137812 Sun Sep 16 2007 8:25am
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Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other of the after life. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word
he made contact, "Mary. Mary."

"Is that you, Fred?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to
the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice.
I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much
all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night.
The next day it starts again."

"Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven."

"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit in Suffolk." Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #137905 Mon Sep 17 2007 2:07am
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #137915 Mon Sep 17 2007 8:31am
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Bob said to his doctor " Don't laugh!"
The Doctor replied "Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over
twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the
tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger
than the size of a AAAAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing
to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and
regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over
me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen
again. Now, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Bob replied.

Post #138048 Mon Sep 17 2007 5:41pm
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Boobie-Man



Member Since: 03 Aug 2007
Location: Hot & Sunny Jamaica
Posts: 193

Jamaica 

Cool

Post #138065 Mon Sep 17 2007 7:15pm
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Andy



Member Since: 15 Oct 2005
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 1369

United Kingdom 

The best engine in the world is the vagina. It pulls anything, it takes any size piston, it is self lubricating, starts with one finger and every four weeks does its own oil change .....

Its just a pity the managment system is so fu* king tempermental.

Hello all, remember me? Mr. Green 2002 Discovery Adventurer LE
1998 Freelander xedi
Ertl limited edition RRS model number 817

Post #138121 Mon Sep 17 2007 10:13pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Nope Wink

Good to see you again Andy! Where have you been? Very Happy 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #138169 Tue Sep 18 2007 7:22am
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Andy



Member Since: 15 Oct 2005
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 1369

United Kingdom 

Here and there... still browsing whenever I can Thumbs Up 2002 Discovery Adventurer LE
1998 Freelander xedi
Ertl limited edition RRS model number 817

Post #138217 Tue Sep 18 2007 3:07pm
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Kaine



Member Since: 26 May 2006
Location: Hills of Shropshire
Posts: 8902

United Kingdom 

Hi Andy - good to see you posting again Thumbs Up

Post #138219 Tue Sep 18 2007 3:22pm
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Andy



Member Since: 15 Oct 2005
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 1369

United Kingdom 

Hey Kaine Thumbs Up

Back to jokes...

Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, ''Mommy, I have to p*ss.''

The mother said, ''Son don't say p*ss in church. Next time you have to p*ss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite.

The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.

He told his father, ''Daddy I have to whisper.''

The father said, ''OK. Here, whisper in my ear.'' 2002 Discovery Adventurer LE
1998 Freelander xedi
Ertl limited edition RRS model number 817

Post #138220 Tue Sep 18 2007 3:37pm
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

A man is stranded on a deserted island, all alone for ten years. One day a gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba suit arrives at the island. She comes up to the chap and she says, "How long has it been since you had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he answers. She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asks, "How long has it been since you had a whisky?"

He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a bottle of malt whisky and gives it to him. He takes a long swallow and says, "Wow, that is fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you had some real fun?"

And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!"

Post #138234 Tue Sep 18 2007 5:21pm
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Boobie-Man



Member Since: 03 Aug 2007
Location: Hot & Sunny Jamaica
Posts: 193

Jamaica 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down

Post #138237 Tue Sep 18 2007 5:30pm
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