some of my Previous cars
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P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Recently a MARRIED man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off his penis.



Seems his girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket, and she got so mad at him,

she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.



I don't know what's worse:



1) having your girlfriend find out you're married;

2) explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis;

3) or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.  some of my Previous cars
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P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

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A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze.
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears." no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

pardon !!  

An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall, an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross over the center line back there. Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again, he jumps out. He's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh, no, not the Breathalyzer again!" no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

All  Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a park bench.
Two of the figures had black weinees, but the one in the middle had a pink weinee.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.
He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society..
"In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."
After the curator left, a young man in a Kentucky T-shirt approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.
"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all.
They're just three Kentucky coal miners, and the guy in the middle went home for lunch. no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Good one!!  Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After rewieving his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. "Follow me" he said, opening the gate and walking in.

After some walk, Saint Pete's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious. "If you do that again, You'll go straight to hell! But follow me, we're almost there."

After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.

Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass of.

"Why is it so god damn cold down here? "Pete asks.

"Well you just try bending down for firewood!!" The devil replied. no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving
together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his
apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled
with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into
organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge
enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a
collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is
quite impressed by his sensitive side.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she
finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father my children?' She turns to him and
kisses him lightly on the lips.
He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he
romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where
they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity,
more heat than she has ever known, and even did a few things she had never
done with any other man.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly," Well, how
was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her
eyes, and says "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf!" If you dont live on the EDGE, you are taking up too much space!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06 RRS HSE ( in Wellington Dockyard, still waiting for release!!)
05 Jeep Cherokee LTD Edition