Short but sweet:

A horse goes into a pub with a set of jump leads. The barman says, "I don't mind the long face, but don't go starting anything!!"

 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Another

Sheep walks into a bar.
the barman says.
"hello Sylvia....where's Brian tonight ?"

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Cliff H wrote:

How Men Think...
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic".

"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me."

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to get lost.

An old woman is listening to the radio and hears a traffic report that a car is driving the wrong way down the motorway. Knowing her husband is on the same road she rings him up and warns him that there is a car going the wrong way. He says 'One! I've seen bloody hundreds!" 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Tesco Car Park Scam - PLEASE BE AWARE



A warning for you and any of your friends who may be regular customers
At Tesco. Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam
while out shopping. Simply going out to get some shopping turned out to
be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to
you!



Here's how the scam works.



Two seriously good looking 21 year old girls come over to your car as
You are loading your groceries into the boot. They both start wiping your
windshield with a rag and Windowlene, with their cleavage almost falling
out of their skimpy T-shirts.



It is impossible not to look.



When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead Ask
you for a lift to another shopping centre. You agree and they get in
the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then
one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral on you,
while the other one steals your wallet.



I had my wallet stolen on June the 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th,
20th, July 2nd, 4th, three times on the 5th, three times just yesterday,
and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy more
wallets.



Please pass this message on to all the men you know to warn them about
this scam! If you dont live on the EDGE, you are taking up too much space!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06 RRS HSE ( in Wellington Dockyard, still waiting for release!!)
05 Jeep Cherokee LTD Edition

 no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Subject: FW: POSSIBLY THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR

> A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her
>mother overseas.
>
> When the man told her it would cost $300, she
> exclaimed: "I don't
> have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother".
>
> The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
>
> "Anything?" he asked.
>
> "Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
>
> "Well then, just follow me", said the man as he walked towards the next
>room.
>
> The blonde did as she was told and
> followed the man.
>
> "Come in and close the door" the man said.
>
> She did. He then said "Now get on your knees."
>
> She did. "Now take down my zipper".
>
> She did. "Now go ahead ... take it out...." he said.
>
> She reached in and grabbed it with both hands then paused.
>
> The man closed his eyes and whispered "Well............ go ahead".
> The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it
>close to her lips, tentatively said...........
>
>
> "Hello. Mom, can you hear me?" some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Aljo got married and his honeymoon was the first time he'd been off the farm.

He'd saved for twenty years for this, so could afford a classy hotel.

Checking in he said "Me and the new WIFE would like to hire your best room for a week"

"Certainly sir" replied the receptionist. "Would you like the Bridal"?

Aljo looked a bit uncertain, then said "Naw, reckon not, a'll just hang onto her ears 'til a get the hang of it"



 no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

very true