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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

all of the above Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #123377 Thu Jul 05 2007 8:06pm
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.
David tried to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.
Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly
opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior.
David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude, and was just about to ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued:
"Now, if I may ask, what did the chicken do?" no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #123380 Thu Jul 05 2007 8:12pm
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #123381 Thu Jul 05 2007 8:13pm
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."
The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.
When he returns, he is covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
"Yes," the other bat answers.
"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't." no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #123383 Thu Jul 05 2007 8:15pm
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Brian Mason



Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

Both= Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Post #123390 Thu Jul 05 2007 8:26pm
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in- law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper some- thing to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.
Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'" no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #123434 Thu Jul 05 2007 9:27pm
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up

Post #123438 Thu Jul 05 2007 9:28pm
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Bobby was getting married in a week, and he never had sex with his girlfriend.He did not want to wait until the honeymoon for his new wife to find out that his penis would not get hard.
so he went to the doctor, the doctor said, well there is a new surgery that consist of using the muscle of a baby elephant's trunk.Bobby said,Ill try anything,and so he had the surgery.
One week later bobby was sitting in a resturant with his girfiend.All of a sudden he felt this big bulging pressure in his pants.Out came his penis, rolled across the table and grabed a biscuit and rolled back in his pants.
Bobby's girfried said oh my god!!! can you do that again?
Bobby said yes I could but I dont know if I can fit another biscuit in my butt. no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #123457 Thu Jul 05 2007 9:57pm
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Brian Mason



Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Post #123459 Thu Jul 05 2007 10:00pm
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up

Post #123464 Thu Jul 05 2007 10:04pm
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

One day a college proffessor was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand. After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the
kid if he actually thought he was a moron. The kid replied, 'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself' no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #123468 Thu Jul 05 2007 10:14pm
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Post #123469 Thu Jul 05 2007 10:15pm
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Brian Mason



Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

You're on-form tonight pussy? I didn't know you were into jokes in such a big way..., then again..., you did marry Envoy!!! Rolling Eyes MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Post #123472 Thu Jul 05 2007 10:35pm
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

your only jealous, that you couldnt have me Whistle some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #123483 Thu Jul 05 2007 11:23pm
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Brian Mason



Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

ENVOY wrote:
your only jealous, that you couldnt have me Whistle


Only because I didn't have a scaffold board handy to strap across my arse??? Whistle MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Post #123487 Fri Jul 06 2007 12:12am
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