RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

NEW US WEATHER FORECAST FORMAT

Well, it now it appears US African-American citizens have found something new to be about.

A black US congresswoman has reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture, such a Chaniqua,Tanisha,
Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in language that "street people" can understand.

I can hear it now: A weatherman in Houston says... "Wazzup, Mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chaniqua be headin' fo yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! This bitch be a category fo'! So grab yo chirren... and yo Ho...leave yo crib and head fo de nearest guv'ment office fo yo FREE !!!

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

thats a mouthful no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

pussy wrote:

thats a mouthful

You CANT be talking about Envoy????  MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

 no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Brian Mason wrote:

pussy wrote:

thats a mouthful

You CAN only be talking about Envoy????

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

THE SQUIRREL & THE GRASSHOPPER REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the Summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Melbourne city centre.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug "Illness".

The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arrival in Australia.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid a million dollars each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in Australia.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Joke for a grey day

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some jokes are so bad they are great....this is just bad..

Apologies in advance for this..........

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea , one called Justin and the other called Christian.


The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that
inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a
prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about
being eaten."


A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" . Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.


Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them but Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.


With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).


Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark", came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend,come out and see me again." Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.".........


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"I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian". !

 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

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painfull isnt it

'fraid so mate...

Nearly as painful as that woman on Britain's Got Talent who was supposedly pretending to be Madonna!!  

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

you watch that s--t

And YOU know what I'm talking about!!  

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!