A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a large dildo flies out and hits the windscreen.

To hide her embarrassment, the mother turns and says to her young kids in the back,

"My, that was a big insect!"

To which her seven year son replied,

"I'm surprised it could fly with a c*ck that size !"

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her. "I'm not going to cite you," said the officer.

"I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken, and it could be dangerous." "I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home." "Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of the reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals, so you should have your husband check that, too." "Again, I thank thee. I shall have my husband check both when I get home."

True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would put a new one on it immediately. "Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake." some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

It was a fine day at the local weekend markets and my mother in law
ran into an old girlfriend who had a store that was very popular
with the senior females.
The store sold dildos and they were arranged in tiered shelving
according to size with the smallest at the bottom and the bigger
ones up higher. Each shelf had a suitable range of colours.
My MIL's friend asked her to look after the store for a few moments
while she popped off to the loo.
She explained that each shelf was arranged by size and that no
matter what the colour the price ranged from $20-00 for the lowest
shelf to $50-00 for the top shelf.
All went well for a while and MIL made a few sales.
Then this old dear arrived and asked the prices of the various
sizes.
It was explained that they ranged from $20-00 to $50-00.
The customer then asked how much the big silver one on the top shelf
was. My MIL expalined that this one was not for sale !
After much fuss the customer offered $200-00 for the silver one ,at
which point my MIL said OK and the deal was done.
When her friend returned she was keen to find out what had happened
in her absence.
My MIL replied that she had sold three medium sizes in various
colours two small red ones, one large black one .
Oh ! and by the way I sold your Thermos flask for $200-00

A man pulled into the local park to eat his lunch, and parked up at the edge of the car park where he had a good view of the scenery.

As he ate his lunch he noticed a couple of blonde council gardeners working flat out around the park perimeter. The first would dig a deep hole, whilst the second would promptly fill it in again. Impressed by how hard they were working, but slightly confused as to what they were doing he got out of the car and approached them.

After exchanging the usual pleasantries he complimented them on their hard work then asked what they were doing.

Well, said one of the blondes, today has been a bit difficult, we usually work as a team of three, but our colleague who plants the trees called in sick……..

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

>> Artery......................... The study of paintings.
>> Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
>> Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die.
>> Benign........................ .What you be, after you be eight.
>> Caesarean Section...............A neighbourhood in Rome.
>> Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
>> Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
>> Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
>> Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
>> Dilate......................... To live long.
>> Enema.......................... Not a friend.
>> Fester......................... Quicker than someone else.
>> Fibula......................... A small lie.
>> Impotent........................ Distinguished, well known.
>> Labour Pain.....................Getting hurt at work.
>> Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane.
>> Morbid......................... A higher offer.
>> Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
>> Node........................... I knew it.
>> Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
>> Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
>> Post Operative................. A letter carrier.
>> Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery.
>> Rectum......................... Nearly killed him.
>> Secretion...................... Hiding something.
>> Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
>> Tablet......................... A small table.
>> Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport.
>> Tumour..........................One plus one more.
>> Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.
>> 2xCondoms.......................To be sure, to be sure MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Dirty dog.... 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

ivery819 wrote:

Click image to enlarge

Go on boy, we've got his pants.., now track down Envoy!!!!  MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

i wondered where that pair had gone  some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace; Victoria admiringly watching her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle. Slipping, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.

Victoria starts to cry and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horse’s neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups and he falls heavily, still trapped on the horse.

As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he begins to slip into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!

Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.