The U.S. Navy found they had too many officers and Senior Rates and decided to offer an early retirememt bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be; the first officer who accepted, a Captain asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer, a Commander who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one a grizzly old Chief Bosuns' Mate who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my manhood to my nuts". It was suggested by the pension's man that he might reconsider; explaining about the nice big cheques the previous officers had received, but the old Chief insisted, so they decided to go along with him providing a Medical Officer took the measurement.

The M.O. arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em" which he did, the M.O. than placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's manhood and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your nuts?"

The old Chief calmly replied ...............












........"Vietnam"

 Porsche Cayenne S Diesel 66 Plate

 Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (

http://www.rrsport.co.uk/gallery/albums/us...ALISTS.pdf Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

4th place................. wtf

Ed Zachary Syndrome

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or
any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something
wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex
therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese
sex therapist Dr. Chang.


So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang
said 'OK take off all your crose.'
The woman did as she was told.
'Now get down and craw reerly, reerly fass to odderside of room.'
Again the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said 'OK, now craw reely, reely fass back to me.'
So she did.
Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said 'Your probrem vely bad. You haf
Ed Zachary syndrome.
Worse case I ever see . Dat why you not haf sex or dates .'

Worried the woman asked anxiously 'Oh my God Dr.Chang what is Ed Zachary
syndrome ? '


Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied 'Ed Zachary syndrome is when your
face rook Ed Zachary like your arse.' 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

I should not really but...............

Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not
inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded
in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his
daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim.


Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on.
If not, join the majority and do nothing..........

Good one, 2nd Rover!  Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

A man walks past a Pie Shop window..

Steak and Kidney Pie - 80p

Cornish Pasty - £1

- £5

He walks in to the shop and asks the assistant, "Do you do for a fiver!?"

"Yes, we sure do" she replies.

"Well can you wash your hands please, I want a pie"

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:

'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.' '08 RRS TDV8
I converted my diesel RRS to run on an environmentally friendly mixture of caribou fat and baby seals oil

Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months.'

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says,'You better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find.'

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local
Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next
collection of soiled clothes:'USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!'

















She got the clean laundry back, and was
still dissatisfied with the results, so the following
week she enclosed another note: 'USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!'





The Chinese laundry man became very annoyed, and when her clean
Laundry was delivered,
it contained a note from him: 'I USE PLENTY SOAP ON
PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!' L322 Big Daddy SUPERCHARGED 5.0 Autobiography - Here & Now!

5 series for the miles

RRS S/C factory built HST - Gone

45 others have been and gone!