Bought my TDV8 in March - not a single problem.

Just come back from two weeks holiday during which the car was sat in a field somewhere with a valet parking company.

When it was dropped off to me the clocks were all zeroed which I put down to the fact that they had sensibly disconnected the battery while we were away.

Since then the battery is flat every morning with all sorts of weird clicks etc when i try and start the ignition. The comp may assures me they did NOT disconnect the battery.

Is there anything that would drain the battery if left standing over two weeks?  TDV8 2007 window tints, Logic 7, side steps.

Just got mine back from being sat at Gatwick for 2 weeks.
Started fine no probs.

Sounds like dodgy battery or alt

I read somewhere, that if your going on holiday for two weeks or more you put the car into a deep sleep, turn off the auto lights and wipers, and put suspension into access mode. 07,TDV8,Black, Black Heated leather all round, Rear Entertainment with Headpones & Remote, TV, DVD, Pure Dab Digital Radio, Sidesteps, Adaptive Headlights, sunroof, now working fuel burning heater )))

I read somewhere, that if your going on holiday for two weeks or more you put the car into a deep sleep, turn off the auto lights and wipers, and put suspension into access mode. 07,TDV8,Black, Black Heated leather all round, Rear Entertainment with Headpones & Remote, TV, DVD, Pure Dab Digital Radio, Sidesteps, Adaptive Headlights, sunroof, now working fuel burning heater )))

The car automatically goes into a deep sleep after a period of time (two days?) I think you can make this happen quicker by parking it in Access Mode.

There used to be an issue with previous Range Rover models that local radio interference (cellular towers) would prevent them sleeping and flatten the battery, perhaps this "field" is near some powerful transmitters.

Alternatively perhaps the car parking company operates a second hand parts shop and has swapped your battery for a dud one! (Not so far fetched, happened at Heathrow in the 1980's when I worked there) 2016 RRS 4.4 TDV8 Autobiography Dynamic in Montalcino Red and Stealth Kit

Common issue with Range Rovers. Mine did this until I installed an inteli-charger. If I left it at airports, I always took a booster pack in the boot, never use jump leads without a surge protector!!!
I tried switching everything off and leaving in access mode but battery went flat anyway. Battery should charge but if it's old it may well have a dead cell if it won't hold charge over night. Although extremely expensive, only fit a genuine LR replacement, all sorts of horror stories on here about cooked alternators and wiring faults with none genuine batteries  2x TDV6. SE and HSE. Both returned to sender with issues👀
TDV8 Sport HSE...... Gone. Loved it but it didn't love me!!
Now rolling in MY10 Fullfat TDV8 Vogue. Slammed it to go round corners🙈
Cruising daily #56 mph in a Volvo V8. 😱
Lots of other toys in the cupboard...😜