A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife..

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?

I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk. 08 2.7 RRS "S"
Td5 110......very modified
RS 5
Kawasaki ZX12R me, it's quick !

oh man  Vadim A.

ok, I have one too.

OK, this guy always wanted to buy a parrot. So he goes to the pet store, picks 2 parrots and wonders which one he should get. One of parrots is nothing special, kind of pretty, yellow-red color, but the other one looks kind of angry, as if he is about to start swearing.

The salesman explains to the guy that he should get the yellow-red one and says that he really does not want to buy the angry looking one. "His previous owner taught him awful words, he swears all the time.", The guy agrees, takes the recommended parrot and goes home. Few days later he decides to swap the parrots out of curiosity. "I'll teach him talk nicely, I'll be nice to him and he's going to be just fine", he says to the salesman.

So finally, he takes the angry parrot home and as soon as the parrot gets out of the box, it starts swearing so badly, that the guy never knew these kinds of words existed...

The guy receives a call form his mother who says that she is on her way to see that parrot, so he asks the parrot to be nice just for 5 mins when his mother arrives, to which the parrot says that his mother is a sl.t and he will f--- his mum in the @$$ and will do all kind of awful things to her... So the guy gets angry, opens the freezer, throws the parrot inside and locks him in. 5 min later, he starts feeling bad for the parrot thinking that the bird may die, he opens the freezer, the bird hardly jumps out and says: "I am sorry, I will never ever swear in my life again, please do not throw me into the freezer." The guy feels satisfied and promises never do that again. "Hey man, one question though", says the bird "What did the chickens do?!" Vadim A.