MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

FIRST PAYCHECK...

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next-door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her
little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the f#cking sheet rock."

Stories like this just bring a tear to your eye.

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

croak  no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

One day a man was driving down the road in a hot red convertable.

He was driving 15 mph when a rabbit that hopped in front of his car.

As the man swerved the rabbit swerved also and was run over.

The man got out of the car and started crying "OH-MY-GOD... OH-MY-GOD!!!!"

Just then a blonde drives up and asks him what's wrong, when he tells her she says, "Oh I can fix that."

She goes to her car, pulls out a can and sprays the rabbit with it.

It instantly comes alive and hops off, but every five feet it turns back to wave, before finally dissappearing into the forrest.

The guy is amazed and says, "how did you do that?"

The blonde just tosses him the can and drives off.

The can says "Hair Spray: Guarenteed to bring your hair back to life and create a permanent wave."


sorry  no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the
marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small
sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican
accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble
shop!" So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said
to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be
interested in. "Dey make you wild at sex."Well, the wife was
really interested in buying the sandals after what the man
claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the
sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could
sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Jamaican replied "Just try dem on, Mon" Well, the husband, after
some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on. As soon
as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes...
something his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye,
the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table,
yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm
hold of the Jamaican's hips. The Jamaican then began screaming...

"YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET MAN! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET" some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Two Australian builders (Bruce and Eric) are seated either side of a
>table
>in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits
>on a
>stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the
>occupation
>of the suit.
>
>
>
> Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
>
>
>
>
>
> Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil : - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
>
>
>
>
>
> The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets
>
> the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet
>he
> sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several
>
> beers get the better of the builder.
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering
>
> what y ou do for a living?
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - Oh! What's that then?
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at
>home?
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens!
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
>
> pond. Which is it?
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - It's in a pond!
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large
>garden
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have
>a large garden then you have a large house?
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical
>to
> a ssume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
>quite
> probably married?
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
>
> with y our wife on a regular basis?
>
>
>
>
>
>Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate
>very
> o ften?
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - Me? Never.
>
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - How's that then?
>
>
>
>
> Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
>about
> y our sex life!
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
>
>
>
>
>
> Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
>
>
>
>
>
> Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
>
>
>
>
>
> Eric: - What's that then?
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
>
>
>
>
>
> Eric: - Nope.
>
>
>
>
>
> Phil: - Well then, you're a . some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

An elderly man in Georgia had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator." some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

ENVOY wrote:

Married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the
marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small
sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican
accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble
shop!" So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said
to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be
interested in. "Dey make you wild at sex."Well, the wife was
really interested in buying the sandals after what the man
claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the
sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could
sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Jamaican replied "Just try dem on, Mon" Well, the husband, after
some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on. As soon
as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes...
something his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye,
the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table,
yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm
hold of the Jamaican's hips. The Jamaican then began screaming...

"YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET MAN! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET"

Me got dem sandals too man, and me is a WIKKID lover (ask pussy). But me leant dem sandals to aljo and me told him he was wearing dem on der wrong feet. Honky fool still keeps wearing dem on der wrong feet!!!