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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #109578 Sat May 19 2007 1:03pm
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JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

>THERE IS THIS GOOD OLD BARBER IN LONDON.
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>ONE DAY A FLORIST GOES TO HIM FOR A HAIRCUT. AFTER THE CUT, HE GOES TO
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>PAY THE BARBER AND THE BARBER REPLIES:
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>"I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU. I AM DOING THE COMMUNITY
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>SERVICE."
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>THE FLORIST IS HAPPY AND LEAVES THE SHOP.
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>NEXT MORNING WHEN THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP, THERE IS A "THANK
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>YOU" CARD AND A DOZEN ROSES WAITING AT HIS DOOR.
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>POLICEMAN GOES FOR A HAIRCUT AND HE ALSO GOES TO PAY THE BARBER AFTER
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>THE CUT.
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>BUT THE BARBER REPLIES: "I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU. I
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>AM DOING THE COMMUNITY SERVICE.
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>THE COP IS HAPPY AND LEAVES THE SHOP.
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>THE NEXT MORNING THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP, THERE IS A THANK YOU
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>CARD AND A DOZEN DONUTS ARE WAITING AT HIS DOOR.
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>AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER GOES FOR A HAIRCUT AND HE ALSO GOES TO PAY
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>THE BARBER AFTER THE CUT.
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>BUT THE BARBER REPLIES: "I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU. I
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>AM DOING THE COMMUNITY SERVICE. "
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>THE INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER IS HAPPY AND LEAVES.
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>THE NEXT MORNING WHEN THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP,
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>GUESS WHAT HE FINDS THERE...
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>TRY TO GUESS
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>COME ON, THINK LIKE AN INDIAN.................
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>A DOZEN INDIANS WAITING FOR A HAIRCUT... RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #109579 Sat May 19 2007 1:10pm
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Kaine



Member Since: 26 May 2006
Location: Hills of Shropshire
Posts: 8902

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Post #109580 Sat May 19 2007 2:09pm
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #109584 Sat May 19 2007 2:31pm
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Brian Mason



Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

Laughing Laughing Laughing MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Post #109604 Sat May 19 2007 7:24pm
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Andy



Member Since: 15 Oct 2005
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 1369

United Kingdom 

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your car.

A Walsall couple drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The RAC mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead. 2002 Discovery Adventurer LE
1998 Freelander xedi
Ertl limited edition RRS model number 817

Post #109613 Sat May 19 2007 7:50pm
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WOODY179



Member Since: 30 Nov 2005
Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 162

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #109616 Sat May 19 2007 9:44pm
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says

"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "

WHAT????!!! What was what?!" So she says the words that every
boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
With her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets
get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

"WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #109627 Sat May 19 2007 11:06pm
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Brian Mason



Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

Such is life!!!! Laughing Laughing Bow down MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Post #109637 Sun May 20 2007 4:23am
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #109639 Sun May 20 2007 4:26am
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Brian Mason



Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

It's 5.30am pussy.., what are you doing up? Looks like your day has already started BEFORE I've even got to bed? Shocked MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Post #109643 Sun May 20 2007 4:35am
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

Thats what i want to know Brian Shocked Shocked some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #109653 Sun May 20 2007 7:06am
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Brian Mason wrote:
It's 5.30am pussy.., what are you doing up? Looks like your day has already started BEFORE I've even got to bed? Shocked


I have been up since 4am, Unfortunately not everything in life is a giggle and talking saft on here, Fretting about problems at work, cannot settle until I have worked out a resolve. (welcome to pussy the serious) Sad Sad no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #109663 Sun May 20 2007 8:27am
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aljo



Member Since: 13 Jun 2006
Location: West Sussex
Posts: 3243

United Kingdom 2011 Range Rover Sport 3.0 TDV6 HSE Santorini Black

pussy wrote:
Brian Mason wrote:
It's 5.30am pussy.., what are you doing up? Looks like your day has already started BEFORE I've even got to bed? Shocked


I have been up since 4am, Unfortunately not everything in life is a giggle and talking saft on here, Fretting about problems at work, cannot settle until I have worked out a resolve. (welcome to pussy the serious) Sad Sad



hope you got it sorted pussy Thumbs Up im sure a lot of us have been there Sad 

Post #109666 Sun May 20 2007 9:21am
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ivery819



Member Since: 16 Jan 2007
Location: --
Posts: 1241

Booze and prescription drugs work for me Shocked

Thumbs Up

we don't want a serious pussy we want a happy pussy !

Post #109670 Sun May 20 2007 9:37am
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