..

Last edited by Toni Timis on Wed Jan 04 2017 2:59pm. Edited 1 time in total

Chemistry Class

One day, the chemistry teacher asked his students:
“What is the chemical formula for water?” Silly Suzie immediately raised her hand.

“Yes, Suzie, what’s the answer?”, the teacher asked.

Suzie answered proudly:
“The chemical formula for water is ‘HIJKLMNO’!”.

Her teacher looked perplexed. He asked:
“What are you talking about?”

Suzie replied: “Yesterday you said the formula for water is H to O!”

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

A Science Lecture


A famous scientist was on his way to a lecture in yet another university when his chauffeur offered an idea.

“Hey, boss, I’ve heard your speech so many times I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.”

“Sounds great,” the scientist said.

When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur’s hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech.

Afterward he asked if there were any questions. “Yes,” said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.

The chauffeur was panic stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. “That’s an easy one,” he replied. “In fact, it’s so easy, I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it!”

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

Perfect

A friend asked me the other day why I never got married. I replied "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now," said my friend. "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was one girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl -- the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."
"Well, why didn't you marry her?" asked my friend. I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "She was looking for the perfect man."

Aren't they all ! Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Black36 wrote:

Perfect

A friend asked me the other day why I never got married. I replied "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now," said my friend. "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was one girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl -- the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."
"Well, why didn't you marry her?" asked my friend. I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "She was looking for the perfect man."

Aren't they all !

..

Last edited by Toni Timis on Wed Jan 04 2017 3:00pm. Edited 1 time in total

 Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

What turns a fruit into a vegetable......

Actually, that might be inappropriate for here!!!!

Last edited by asellers33 on Mon Jun 25 2012 10:27am. Edited 1 time in total

Yet another fantastic TT thread!

Jim

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store
laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's
no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.

The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and
once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of
the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?

So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him
to see where he goes."

Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts
cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the
guy.

About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
"Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies "Your house."

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address or postcode. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is my birthday, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.. Please help me? Sincerely, Edna.

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

A few days later, another letter came addressed to God and in the same hand. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office. Sincerely, Edna.

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

Three Kings

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and f king. Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Sorry this one may make your eyes water..

Cheating

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to......to....cut it off are you?!" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire." Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Black36 wrote:

Sorry this one may make your eyes water..

Cheating

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to......to....cut it off are you?!" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

Just for laugh



&feature=youtube_gdata_player

&feature=youtube_gdata_player

&feature=youtube_gdata_player

&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!