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Last edited by Toni Timis on Wed Jan 04 2017 2:58pm. Edited 4 times in total

" Do you think onion is the only vegetable that makes you cry?

Hm ...

Did anyone ever crack over your head with a pumpkin? "

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

Last edited by Toni Timis on Fri Jun 22 2012 2:34pm. Edited 1 time in total

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Last edited by Toni Timis on Wed Jan 04 2017 2:57pm. Edited 2 times in total

A man falls off a scaffold.

The only witness is a child. The police asks him:
- Hey, kid why that man fell off from the scaffold?
- Well, God punished him.
- Why did God punish him?
- He cursed ..
- But what has cursed?
- "...you crazy child..... STOOOOP shaking the scaffold".
 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

Last edited by Toni Timis on Fri Jun 22 2012 4:29pm. Edited 2 times in total

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Last edited by Toni Timis on Wed Jan 04 2017 2:57pm. Edited 1 time in total

Three Nuns

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months." Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Intimate Life

After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counsellor suggested they vary their position. "For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs from behind and off you go." The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home. "Well, okay," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First, if it hurts you have to stop right away, and second..." she continued, "you have to promise we won't go past my parents' house." Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Pulled over

A cop saw a RRS weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell alcohol on her breath.
He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyser test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.' She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.'
She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?' Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

" A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"brbrThe surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"brbrThe surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."
 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" reported the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"


 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!

Frisky

One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... A man and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer?" She said "Yes." "OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.

 Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Guess you two have no pals ...

 Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Watch this... It might work !

 Martyn

TDV8 HSE 2010.
Ebony Leather
Santorini Black.

Black36 wrote:

Watch this... It might work !

 !!! RRS TDV8 !!!