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Rupert

Member Since: 13 Mar 2006
Location: Here !!!
Posts: 1194

Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across the campus when one said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?' The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.' The second engineer nodded approvingly, 'Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit.'

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

Normal people ... believe that if it isn't broken, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it isn't broken, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, 'I like both.' 'Both?' Replied the architect and artist. 'Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.'

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

One day, an engineer was crossing a road when a frog called out to him and said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess'. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.' The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.' Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess; I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?' The engineer said, 'Look. I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool.'

Wed Jul 16 2008 5:09pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

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So what your saying is Engineers are a bunch of sad acts? RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
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Wed Jul 16 2008 6:47pm

aljo

Member Since: 13 Jun 2006
Location: West Sussex
Posts: 3243

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JayMann wrote:
So what your saying is Engineers are a bunch of sad acts?

does that apply to civil engineers ?

Wed Jul 16 2008 6:52pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

YES!!

RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Wed Jul 16 2008 6:57pm

aljo

Member Since: 13 Jun 2006
Location: West Sussex
Posts: 3243

Wed Jul 16 2008 7:39pm

Rupert

Member Since: 13 Mar 2006
Location: Here !!!
Posts: 1194

aljo wrote:
........does that apply to civil engineers ?

Well I don't know.......... you tell me

Wed Jul 16 2008 7:55pm

aljo

Member Since: 13 Jun 2006
Location: West Sussex
Posts: 3243

Rupert wrote:
aljo wrote:
........does that apply to civil engineers ?

Well I don't know.......... you tell me

the only difference being i kissed and married the princess and over time ended up with a pug ugly f*cking frog

Wed Jul 16 2008 8:20pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Wed Jul 16 2008 11:20pm

Pelyma

Member Since: 28 Sep 2005
Location: Sussex
Posts: 1497

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Thu Jul 17 2008 7:44am

Alicatt

Member Since: 11 Jun 2007
Location: Eating in Eksel or Ice cold in Alex
Posts: 1435

2008 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Buckingham Blue

aljo wrote:
JayMann wrote:
So what your saying is Engineers are a bunch of sad acts?

does that apply to civil engineers ?

A group of engineers were discussing who designed the human body.
The Electrical Engineer said it must have been an electrical engineer as look at all the miles of wiring in the nervous system
The Structural engineer said No it was one of us, look at how perfectly formed the skeletal structure is.
The mechanical engineer sat and thought about it for a while and then had a thought "Ah Ha! it was a Civil Engineer, who else would put a recreational area next to a sewage out fall" Sons of dogs come hither and get flesh
Clan Cameron

Thu Jul 17 2008 9:25am

shmoogle

Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

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Thu Jul 17 2008 9:33am

Rupert

Member Since: 13 Mar 2006
Location: Here !!!
Posts: 1194

Thu Jul 17 2008 10:03pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

Fri Jul 18 2008 12:39pm

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