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MDP

Member Since: 14 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

How to Loose weight

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads: If you can catch me, you can have me. Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.

He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads: If you catch me you can have me.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lb. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone
"This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years.

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds this huge, muscular, 7ft man standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read: I'm Francis. If I catch you, you're mine...
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Mon Mar 13 2006 4:33pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

http://www.rrsport.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1537&start=0 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Mon Mar 13 2006 4:43pm

kam100

Member Since: 28 Sep 2005
Location: In my office doing quotes!!
Posts: 4771

I thought i had read that before recently.. couldn't think if it was on here or via email or something.. one of them moments MDP..

Mon Mar 13 2006 4:44pm

shmoogle

Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

Never mind, MDP... we all appreciate what it's like to get old!

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Mon Mar 13 2006 4:47pm

MDP

Member Since: 14 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

I'm having a BAD day
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Mon Mar 13 2006 5:18pm

Tim in Scotland

Member Since: 30 May 2005
Location: Driving along in my automobile
Posts: 17476

2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Stornoway Grey

MDP wrote:
I'm having a BAD day

Then jump in your Sport and go for a burn-up and blow the cobwebs out! 2020 Pangea Green 1st Edition D240 New Defender 110 is here and loving it
2018 Melting Silver Mini Countryman PHEV - soon to be replaced
2015MY Corris Grey SDv6 HSE Dynamic, the best car I have ever owned, totally reliable only a cou0le of rattles in 3 years, now no longer in my care
Also in my garage is a 1996 TDi300 Defender 90 County HT made into a fake CSW

Mon Mar 13 2006 5:23pm

kam100

Member Since: 28 Sep 2005
Location: In my office doing quotes!!
Posts: 4771

yeah at least u can do that!! im a volvo man today.. gonna wait till rush hour has died down, so noone sees me in it!! haha..

Mon Mar 13 2006 5:25pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

You best stick a cap on as well Kam RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Mon Mar 13 2006 5:34pm

Tim in Scotland

Member Since: 30 May 2005
Location: Driving along in my automobile
Posts: 17476

And a caravan on the back! 2020 Pangea Green 1st Edition D240 New Defender 110 is here and loving it
2018 Melting Silver Mini Countryman PHEV - soon to be replaced
2015MY Corris Grey SDv6 HSE Dynamic, the best car I have ever owned, totally reliable only a cou0le of rattles in 3 years, now no longer in my care
Also in my garage is a 1996 TDi300 Defender 90 County HT made into a fake CSW

Mon Mar 13 2006 5:47pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

and them wide view wing mirrors RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Mon Mar 13 2006 5:51pm

shmoogle

Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Tue Mar 14 2006 10:17am

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