You use target indication to point out hot chicks...

You use the term 'chicks'

You insist on dancing like a dick, whilst your civvie mates insist on trying to dance 'properly'.

Your civvie mates don't understand any of the terminology you use such as 'no dramas', 'squared away', 'take a knee' etc....

You can't help saying "Roger", "Say again" and other snappy bits of VP

You use acronyms thinking your civvie mates will understand what you are talking about

You don't have any civvie mates....

You cringe, and mutter under your breath 'haircut', when you see men with long hair.

You walk at a ridiculous pace and are physically incapable of walking at the shopping pace of your girlfriend.

You refer to personal organisation as "admin"

Your girlfriend is stored in your mobile phone address book as 'Zero Alpha'

You use patrol hand signals in a night club if people can't hear you

You always use the 24 hour clock....

Nothing soldiers do shocks you any more....

You can't watch war movies without giving a running commentary.

People in prison have more contact with women than you do....

Whenever you spell something out you use the phonetic alphabet....

You don't trust your mum/wife/girlfriend/any woman to iron your kit because deep down you think that your ironing is better....

You point using your whole hand in a karate chop motion....

You find that the conversation somehow always comes back round to you, because you're more interesting than most topics of conversation....

You think not shaving is a treat....

You get really irritated when people you don't know call you 'mate'....

You can read a junk mail catalogue from cover to cover and refer to everything that is useful as a Gucci bit of kit.

You refer to smoke as 'a double edged sword'.


You spend hours wondering where in civvie street you can get an equal disposable income and at least 6 weeks holiday a year, by completing an inversely proportionally tiny amount of tangible work

Your blood boils when you see civvies wearing DPM.

Going out on Thursday "international army night out" wherever it may be,or whichever course one is on, involves forming the ring-of-steel, talking about ourselves and the army and aggressively staring at girls; who if they don't immediately come over are obviously lesbians.

Should any man dare break this ritual, and despite talking to the prettiest of girls - as we would like to do, if it weren't for the fact we tend to chew our own tongues and dribble - he is clearly gay!

You come out in a cold sweat if you find yourself still working after lunch on a Friday....

You have to stop work at 10am for NAAFI break or else you might not make it to lunch....

At least half of your DVD collection are war movies....

Even though your disposable income is twice that of a civvie you still manage to spend it all, every month, with nothing to show for it, about a week after you've told all your soldiers that you 'can't believe how much money they waste on the urine'....

You feel guilty about wearing jeans in front of senior officers in the mess

The sight of rolling countryside makes you scan for 'enemy depth'....

You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt you've worn all week is perfectly normal....

All of your food has to be prepared by a chef because you're incapable of cooking anything that can't either be boiled in a bag or eaten cold....

You lie when people ask you what you do for a living....

When leaving your phone number on a voice message you can't just give it once, has to be repeated.

When surveying open ground (when not looking for enemy in depth) you think, good tank country. If a forestry block - I could get a platoon in here

You survey open ground.

When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with "Reference bushy topped tree etc etc"

Your girlfriend has started saying "admin" and gave you the "Chop" when telling you to put the bin out.

When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has.....Worse still, if it's a venue you haven't been to before, you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR, in order that you are definitely there 5 minutes early.

You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.

Oh my god..... All of the above apply...... If you dont live on the EDGE, you are taking up too much space!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06 RRS HSE ( in Wellington Dockyard, still waiting for release!!)
05 Jeep Cherokee LTD Edition

worryingly can relate to so many of those !! luckily not all !! ....

lmao funny Jeremy Clarkson is my god
POWER!!!

My mate is in the Arny and some of that stuff is true  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

I still find that I walk in step with whoever is next to me. Old habits die hard or not at all.

Having served 15yrs in the Army before I found the job that gave me more pay albeit with less leave and more work I've just found myself agreeing with most of that! Excellent

I never trust anyone to do my ironing, no-one else can iron my kit properly and why don't people polish their shoes FFS! Darren Griffin
Editor
PocketGPSWorld.Com

DarrenG wrote:

why don't people polish their shoes FFS!

Just buy a new pair  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

The more senior I became, the less it applied!

KiwiRRS

2 weeks today we fly out

6 weeks on Friday the RRS lands in Wellington  If you dont live on the EDGE, you are taking up too much space!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06 RRS HSE ( in Wellington Dockyard, still waiting for release!!)
05 Jeep Cherokee LTD Edition

Sent this on to my mate got this back from him

Quote:

that was a good 1, i can relate to a lot of that lol.

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

NZHereIcum wrote:

KiwiRRS

2 weeks today we fly out

6 weeks on Friday the RRS lands in Wellington

How true all that is. Ive been out 3 years and almost all the above still apply to me...

I might add that there was no mention of trying to bone anything that moves, which is a favourite past time of many a soldier, however ugly she may be.

Doing the Walk of Shame up the main drag the morning after a night out, having shagg$d a real minger.

Using any reason on earth to get urined up...its my mates sisters, girlfriends, mothers brother...etc b'day. So get drunk for that, then get late start following day !

You find it acceptable to kiss another man, to show how manly you are and make the misses sick !

DarrenG wrote:

Having served 15yrs in the Army before I found the job that gave me more pay albeit with less leave and more work I've just found myself agreeing with most of that! Excellent

I never trust anyone to do my ironing, no-one else can iron my kit properly and why don't people polish their shoes FFS!

Totally agree....

The Warrant Officer

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet about the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an Warrant Officer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below responded, "You must be an Officer."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault." GONE** RRS 3.0SC Silver fully loaded - 2020 110 loving it
BMW R1200GSA Rallye
GONE** Fiesta ST2 - Mrs Wokka's - AMG35 now
GONE**BMW K1600GTLE Matt Blue
GONE**Disco 4 2014 Firenze Red
GONE**Evoque SD4 Dynamic Coupe
GONE**RRS 5.0 SC
GONE**RRS HSE TDV8
GONE**RRS HSE TDV8 (The Crap one)
GONE**FL Facelift
GONE**FL 1
GONE**D1
GONE**BMW R1200GS Adventure
GONE: Kawasaki ZX10R
GONE: Focus ST2
** Chinook CH47 - 2 x T55 engines 3,750 hp each!! 183mph, 2xM134 Miniguns, 1xM60

I been out just over 20yrs, and still. old habits die hard