A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."

"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."

"Like this?"

"A little more..."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more..."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head!"




 

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

JayMann wrote:

it will come to you jay dont worry






















eventualy  

Sorry  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called cliff the plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for £600.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!"

cliff the plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."





 

things you wouldnt hear a doctor say in a surgery


Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

Damn! Page 56 of the manual is missing!

Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of'em

What do you mean "You want a divorce?"



 

aljo wrote:

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called cliff the plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for £600.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!"

cliff the plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

All=