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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 
Why?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?


If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Do you cry under water?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Post #132080 Sun Aug 12 2007 7:30am
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

And not forgetting Cliff

why dont you get a life Wink Whistle



All true though Laughing Laughing Laughing



Twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad stuck in my head now some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #132084 Sun Aug 12 2007 8:07am
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Charming Rolling Eyes

Was going to ask how you were, but now hope your nose has fallen off and your teeth have fallen out Ner Ner

And I hope that stays in your head all day Ner Ner Ner Ner Ner Ner Ner Ner Ner Ner

Post #132087 Sun Aug 12 2007 8:12am
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

wish my nose would fall off, cant feel my teeth anyway, and i am sure this will stay in my head all day Evil or Very Mad


Its a good job i am staying at home today Whistle



Twinkle twinkle little star Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #132089 Sun Aug 12 2007 8:17am
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Only because you don't want to be seen out in a Freelander Laughing Laughing Laughing

And how is Pussy today, hope you are not sending her to work to clean more toilets Laughing Laughing

Post #132091 Sun Aug 12 2007 8:19am
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

Tooooooooo right i dont want to be seen out in a Freelander, i would have to use the back lanes to work Rolling Eyes

Standards man! standards Whistle


And no pussy is staying at home today as well, the toilets need cleaning here Whistle some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #132096 Sun Aug 12 2007 8:23am
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

And of course you need someone there to make your drinks etc Whistle Whistle Laughing

Post #132100 Sun Aug 12 2007 8:26am
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

Even poor old Pussy isnt up to doing much today, not even a































































Drink Whistle , filthy minded beast Laughing some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #132102 Sun Aug 12 2007 8:30am
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pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Cliff H wrote:
Only because you don't want to be seen out in a Freelander Laughing Laughing Laughing

And how is Pussy today, hope you are not sending her to work to clean more toilets Laughing Laughing




Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes he has even said driving my D2 is better than the freelander Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #132145 Sun Aug 12 2007 1:49pm
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MAW



Member Since: 06 May 2006
Location: Lincs
Posts: 3104

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Orkney Grey

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


Laughing Laughing Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #132917 Wed Aug 15 2007 10:19am
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


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Post #132918 Wed Aug 15 2007 10:21am
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