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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost
only in the US

The "Stella Award" - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U. S., was started in honor of Stella Liebeck, the 81-year-old lady who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds for having served her hot coffee.

The following were this year's candidates:

1. Kathleen Robideaux of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little brat was Mrs. Robideaux's. own son.

2. A 19-year-old, Seth Truman of Los Angeles, won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. A Terrence Forrest of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Forrest found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

4. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Amish of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Miss Amish threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
5. Jerry Flynt of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Flynt who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

6. Kara Dent of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Dent was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And the winner was:

Mr. Merv Douglaston of Oklahoma City. Mr. Douglaston purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having merged onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Douglaston sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie. (Winnebago actually changed their handbooks on the back of their court case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles). some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #125737 Sun Jul 15 2007 9:49pm
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ivery819



Member Since: 16 Jan 2007
Location: --
Posts: 1241

Not only in the US Big Cry

More HERE

Post #125738 Sun Jul 15 2007 10:03pm
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Zilch



Member Since: 20 Mar 2006
Location: Sydney, sometimes the Whitsundays
Posts: 2835

Australia 2010 Range Rover Sport 3.0 TDV6 HSE Fuji White

no one on here i assume ivery Whistle Another Pommie Bar Steward down under

MY20 Defender 110 SE P400 Eiger/Ebony
MY10 3.0 RRS TDv6 Fuji/Ebony/Anigre

Post #125744 Sun Jul 15 2007 10:40pm
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ivery819



Member Since: 16 Jan 2007
Location: --
Posts: 1241

Nooooo Evil or Very Mad

WD and myself have, so far, eluded the authorities. Cool

Post #125745 Sun Jul 15 2007 10:48pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #125768 Mon Jul 16 2007 7:55am
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MAW



Member Since: 06 May 2006
Location: Lincs
Posts: 3104

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Orkney Grey

Hilarious.... and barking Laughing Laughing Laughing Confused

Post #125780 Mon Jul 16 2007 8:21am
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Working Dog



Member Since: 29 May 2007
Location: In the hills
Posts: 193

Australia 2008 Range Rover Sport TDV8 SE Chawton White

ivery819 wrote:
Nooooo Evil or Very Mad

WD and myself have, so far, eluded the authorities. Cool


Shocked sssssh Ivery Shocked

nothing to see here..... nothing to see..... just keep moving on..... Whistle Just a white TDV8 with a few extras

Post #125790 Mon Jul 16 2007 9:29am
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Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Shocked crazy Thud

Post #125792 Mon Jul 16 2007 9:51am
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Endjin



Member Since: 22 Jun 2007
Location: Aberdeenshire
Posts: 2087

Scotland 

And we wonder why insurance premiums are sky high? Rolling Eyes

On a personal note , I remember staying with my Aunt in Florida when I was a kid and thinking "how Dumb Are these People"! This (possibly) unfair generalisation was brought on by noticing the label on her electric hair dryer which read "NOT FOR USE IN BATH or SHOWER"!! - Give me a break Confused Whistle 2013 Discovery HSE Luxury - 3.0 SDV6 - Santorini Black
2013 Evoque 5 Door Pure Tech SD4 - Orkney Grey with Panoramic Roof (Mrs E's new baby)

GONE - RRS - 3.0 TDV6 HSE - Santorini (2010)
GONE - RRS - 2.7 TDV6 HSE - Java Black (2007)
GONE - Porsche Boxster S - 3.2 - Black

Post #125826 Mon Jul 16 2007 1:54pm
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Very Annoyed
Site Moderator


Member Since: 23 Aug 2005
Location: bat-wielding monkey-spanking tough-love zero-tolerance Euro-sceptic moderator - So just watch it!
Posts: 19459

United Kingdom 

Laugh you may but it's happening over here now. Health and safety et all. 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #125831 Mon Jul 16 2007 2:17pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Packs of dry roasted peanuts from Sainburys have "Warning: May contain nuts" on the side.... I wonder who actually picks them up and goes "Woah, lucky I read that!" Shocked 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


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Post #125839 Mon Jul 16 2007 3:09pm
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Endjin



Member Since: 22 Jun 2007
Location: Aberdeenshire
Posts: 2087

Scotland 

OK - Here we go with the definative list - ENJOY Mr. Green

CRAZY LABELS Whistle

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.

"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."

"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. 2013 Discovery HSE Luxury - 3.0 SDV6 - Santorini Black
2013 Evoque 5 Door Pure Tech SD4 - Orkney Grey with Panoramic Roof (Mrs E's new baby)

GONE - RRS - 3.0 TDV6 HSE - Santorini (2010)
GONE - RRS - 2.7 TDV6 HSE - Java Black (2007)
GONE - Porsche Boxster S - 3.2 - Black

Post #125850 Mon Jul 16 2007 3:49pm
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shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Bow down Rolling with laughter Bow down Rolling with laughter Bow down Thumbs Up

My personal favourite:

Quote:
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #125852 Mon Jul 16 2007 4:09pm
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Very Annoyed
Site Moderator


Member Since: 23 Aug 2005
Location: bat-wielding monkey-spanking tough-love zero-tolerance Euro-sceptic moderator - So just watch it!
Posts: 19459

United Kingdom 

and they let people own guns in the US.


Magnum 45 - this gun can cause injury! 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #125854 Mon Jul 16 2007 4:23pm
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ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

What is the world coming to Thud but some of them make you laugh

Quote:

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.



Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #125856 Mon Jul 16 2007 4:37pm
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