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pussy

Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

need some laughter PLEASE

somebody make me laugh please i am having to read the new companies act, it is 760 pages long, 1300 clauses 49 chapters and i am only at chapter 2 clause 170. no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:31pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

Landrover make the most reliable cars in the world

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:37pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Did it for me that is RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:39pm

shmoogle

Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

Re: need some laughter PLEASE

pussy wrote:
1300 clauses

Have you read about Santa Clause yet?

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

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Fri Mar 02 2007 3:41pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

only 47 more chapters to go

No sex for Envoy until you have finished reading

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:41pm

pussy

Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Cliff H wrote:
Landrover make the most reliable cars in the world

more more i am desperate :

no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:42pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

pussy wrote:
Cliff H wrote:
Landrover make the most reliable cars in the world

more more i am desperate :

Isn't that what Envoy says in bed

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:43pm

shmoogle

Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

Q: How do you make a snooker table laugh?
A: Put your hands in its pockets and tickle its balls!

Well?

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:43pm

pussy

Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Re: need some laughter PLEASE

shmoogle wrote:
pussy wrote:
1300 clauses

Have you read about Santa Clause yet?

apart from he comes down your chimney once a year

no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:43pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

Not getting much sleep then Shmoogle

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:44pm

pussy

Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Cliff H wrote:
pussy wrote:
Cliff H wrote:
Landrover make the most reliable cars in the world

more more i am desperate :

Isn't that what Envoy says in bed

yes, then i walk in on him, alone

no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:46pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:46pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:48pm

pussy

Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

keep it coming no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:49pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

A man and a woman were dating.

She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.

"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game.

For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I"ll remove one piece of clothing.

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.

He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.

At 60 off came the pants.

At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.

Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck.

"Go to the road and get hlep," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied.

The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.

"You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.

Along came a truck driver.

Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.

"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!"

The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies:

"Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"

Fri Mar 02 2007 3:49pm

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