RRSPORT.CO.UK • View topic - The wife just got a letter from asda


		^ Advertise here ^ RRSPORT.CO.UK
		Forum Gallery Shop Sponsors

Home · FAQ · New Posts · My Posts · PMs · Search · Members · Members Map · Calendar · Profile · Donate · Register · Log In

Home > Off Topic > The wife just got a letter from asda

Page 1 of 2

TonyMeg

Member Since: 10 Feb 2007
Location: North East
Posts: 128

2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Java Black

The wife just got a letter from asda

OK I think I might of over done it at Asda lately. Meg got this through the post on Friday.........

Dear Mrs. F......n,

While we thank you for your valued custom at Asda, the Manager of our store in Sunderland is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

1. July 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. August 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. August 17: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. August 29: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. September 6: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. November 23: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. January 11: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

And the final straw was:

14. January 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown

Store Manager, Asda Sunderland.

Tue Feb 20 2007 10:38pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Tue Feb 20 2007 10:42pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

Do you have to send out letters like that too Jay????

Tue Feb 20 2007 10:45pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

Nop they just get a slap and then kicked out if they do anything like this! RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Tue Feb 20 2007 10:47pm

Cliff H

Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

Tue Feb 20 2007 10:49pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

Tue Feb 20 2007 10:51pm

ENVOY

Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

Tony some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Tue Feb 20 2007 11:01pm

Brian Mason

Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Sumatra Black

Tue Feb 20 2007 11:06pm

Andy

Member Since: 15 Oct 2005
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 1369

Just editing the names and sent this to an American friend of mine. He didn't realise it was a joke 2002 Discovery Adventurer LE
1998 Freelander xedi
Ertl limited edition RRS model number 817

Tue Feb 20 2007 11:09pm

ENVOY

Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

Andy wrote:
Just editing the names and sent this to an American friend of mine. He didn't realise it was a joke

Is it not

some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Tue Feb 20 2007 11:13pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

Yeah it is a joke right!

RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Tue Feb 20 2007 11:18pm

Brian Mason

Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

Reminds me of the time I got hold of the girlfriend, spun her around, bent her over, ripped off her knickers, threw her over the deep freeze and fuc*ed her furiously! Great sex.., but they'll never let me shop in Iceland again?

Tue Feb 20 2007 11:54pm

JayMann

Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

Nether would i! not that I'd be pi***d off more jealous RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Wed Feb 21 2007 12:00am

Brian Mason

Member Since: 31 Aug 2006
Location: Lurking with intent!!!
Posts: 5326

Wed Feb 21 2007 1:08am

Kaine

Member Since: 26 May 2006
Location: Hills of Shropshire
Posts: 8902

Wed Feb 21 2007 7:54am

Page 1 of 2

All times are GMT

Jump to

< Previous Topic | Next Topic >

Posting Rules

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum