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PS Bad language and scenes of nudity

 RRS gone
Audi SQ5...Gone Audi Q7 S-Line 240 3.0TDI Gone
Audi A6 Allroad Sport 270 3.0TDI

 ON THE WAY: BMW F21 M140i
MERCEDES GL350 - Metallic Navy Blue w/Grey interior

GOING: BMW F31 335D MSport+ xDrive Touring
GONE: Land Rover Discovery 4 HSE - Stornaway Grey w/Black Interior (wish we'd kept it )
GONE: BMW F10 520D MSport - Carbon Black
GONE:MY12 RRS SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ivory/Grand Black Privacy glass

is there nowhere I can escape from this book - good vid btw

That's funny.
I've just shown it to the wife who is permanently glues to her kindle, she laughed too.
Nik.. 2015 Golf R DSG
Gone 2013 Mercedes C220 CDi AMG Sport Plus
Gone 2008 2.7 RRS HSE

this is currently doing the rounds, appologies to any southerners who cant understand it, this weegie ned version is the best one, but there is an "english" version out there somewhere!
enjoy!!
dave



“As he approached wi they pasty white arms hinging out ae his Gola vest, his smile told me it wis benefit day an I knew ma velour trackie wid be hingin aff the lamp shade the night.”

“It wis Malky’s birthday an ah wis preparing his special tea, Findus Crispy Pancakes an a Pot Noodle. I wid let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position wis w...hat he called The Dogs ae War. Where he took me fae behind an played Call of Duty at the same time.”

“Our 6 week anniversary wis approaching, this wid be ma longest relationship withoot gitting pregnant. I thought ae this as he lay oan top ae me making love. His skinny airms straddled ma head like breadsticks either side ae an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every plook ah felt wis spelling out Braille for I love you”

“As I stood in line at the Joab Centre thinking ae reasons I couldn’t work, a sweet smell drifted past ma pig like nostrils. It wis a mixture ae weed, B.O an Lynx Africa. I turned roon an there wis Malky boy!!. Our eyes met an he wis soon lifting me oanty the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we widn’t be disturbed. There wis a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it wis love an ma life wid never be the same.”

“Ma maw telt me tae leave Malky hunners ae times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he aye took his rings aff afore he hooked me. Tonight though he wis in a rager!!, I had ****** his tea up after failing tae de-frost the prawn ring ah hud nicked fae farm foods. He picked up the power lead fae ma kids mega drive an whipped it across ma doughy ****. “OOHYA BASS” It stung but ah pure liked it. I shouted again again!!! so he carried on. I thought ma shell suit wid rip into a million bit!!!!. As I looked ower ma shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which rare these days as the Dragon soop normally played havoc wi his erections.” MY10 TDV6 SE (debadged ), Santorini Black, Flappy paddles, Privacy Glass, 20" Stormers, Mudflaps!

Gone: a comprehensive list of imprezas and a Merc ML AMG

Nice one Codfather!

 RRS gone
Audi SQ5...Gone Audi Q7 S-Line 240 3.0TDI Gone
Audi A6 Allroad Sport 270 3.0TDI