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Misery



Member Since: 07 Dec 2005
Location: Waiting for L405
Posts: 2555

United Kingdom 
Rather good

A police motorcycle officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver is a real bar steward, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual 
orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying a dickybird.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature.
The bloke signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an arsehole."
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record and he has a heap of points and is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a barrister to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the barrister for the defence asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
The police officer replies: "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Barrister: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.”
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for arsehole?"
“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”

~~~~ How often can one get a lawyer to convict his own client!!~~~~

Post #341137 Tue Apr 24 2012 9:00am
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Steuart64



Member Since: 24 Dec 2009
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 539

Scotland 2011 Range Rover Sport 3.0 TDV6 Autobiography Orkney Grey

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Now - MY11 RRS Autobiography TDV6, Orkney gray, tints, steps, daylight running lamps and allllll the toys!!!
Ex- RRS HSE TDV6 07 Java Black, bi xenon, corner lights, side steps, tints, cool box, smoke side repeats, chrome "sport" boot sill
Ex - Audi A4 Cab 3.0TDi Quattro
Ex - Freelander2 SE TD4
Ex - CRV Auto

Post #341148 Tue Apr 24 2012 9:52am
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Ady 555
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Member Since: 12 Dec 2010
Location: Good old yorkshire
Posts: 8738

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Santorini Black

Laughing Laughing Laughing Excellent Thumbs Up

Post #341153 Tue Apr 24 2012 10:01am
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Endjin



Member Since: 22 Jun 2007
Location: Aberdeenshire
Posts: 2087

Scotland 

Laughing Thumbs Up 2013 Discovery HSE Luxury - 3.0 SDV6 - Santorini Black
2013 Evoque 5 Door Pure Tech SD4 - Orkney Grey with Panoramic Roof (Mrs E's new baby)

GONE - RRS - 3.0 TDV6 HSE - Santorini (2010)
GONE - RRS - 2.7 TDV6 HSE - Java Black (2007)
GONE - Porsche Boxster S - 3.2 - Black

Post #341195 Tue Apr 24 2012 2:06pm
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npinks
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United Kingdom 

Laughing Thumbs Up

Post #341197 Tue Apr 24 2012 2:18pm
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simon1233



Member Since: 06 Jan 2011
Location: Leyland mostly, sometimes Darmstadt
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United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up

Post #341202 Tue Apr 24 2012 2:53pm
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cam190679



Member Since: 24 Apr 2012
Location: Manchester
Posts: 9

love it Rolling with laughter

Post #341207 Tue Apr 24 2012 3:09pm
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JC1



Member Since: 24 Oct 2009
Location: Berkshire
Posts: 939

United Kingdom 2010 Range Rover Sport 3.0 TDV6 HSE Santorini Black

Laughing Laughing Pmsl Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down Bow down MY10 3.0 HSE Santorini Black, Ivory Premium & extended leather, privacy, paddles, diamond turned alloys, Ipod lead that charges, tasmods, rrsport.co.uk stickers

Jeep 4.0 High Output XJ 94 6" teraflex lift, c/w rear coils, 9500lb winch, 35" TSL super swamper boggers, safari snorkel, custom made bumpers, tom woods custom double cardon driveshaft, twin electric fans. Don't follow it..............you wont make it. The first 4 x 4 by far.

Post #341235 Tue Apr 24 2012 6:09pm
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