The ability to make and understand puns is considered to be the
Highest level of language development.


1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
Stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
Allowed per passenger."



2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
Says, "Dam!"



3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire
In the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you
Can't have your kayak and heat it too.



4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The
Other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."



5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
Root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.



6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
Standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
To disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because,"
He said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."



7. A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give
Them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is
Named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him
"Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
Mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
Wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."



8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they
Opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked
To buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town
Thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to
Close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to
Close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart,
The roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" the friars to
Close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd
Be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby
Proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.



9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
Which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
Very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
Suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, dude, this is so bad,
it's good…..) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.



10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
Friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
Laugh. No pun in ten did.

andy. Gone,,TDV8 arctic frost,black leather,colour coded handles,rear entertainment,sunroof.
1980 Rolls Royce,shadow 2 in white.
Gone 07/57 TDV8 santorino,black leather.chrome handle's/mirror's.
Gone 02/52 FFRR vogue.

Good start to the day  purple people eater

There are no good days, just some days that are not as bad as others!


Gone RR 4.0 P38 Autobiography MY99 Red ( money pit)
Gone RRS MY06 2.7TDV6 HSE Rimini Red
Gone RRS MY10 3.0TDV6 HSE Bali Blue with lots of bits (never grew to love it)
Here Now - 3.6 TDV8 FFRR OVERFINCH Stornoway Grey - loving it x
My work car Ford Mondeo 2.0 TDci Zetec auto Estate in Silver

# 7 good

Very Good  2013 Discovery HSE Luxury - 3.0 SDV6 - Santorini Black
2013 Evoque 5 Door Pure Tech SD4 - Orkney Grey with Panoramic Roof (Mrs E's new baby)

GONE - RRS - 3.0 TDV6 HSE - Santorini (2010)
GONE - RRS - 2.7 TDV6 HSE - Java Black (2007)
GONE - Porsche Boxster S - 3.2 - Black

 FF 4.4 V8 Soooo looking forward to this bad boy
Ex 2006 RRS SC - garbage
Ex 2016 135i M Sport - dream car
Ex 2003 RS6 Avant - piece of cr*p
Ex 2014 320d X Drive, M Sport Touring - ok I guess
Ex 2007 RRS TDV8 - bloody loved it
EX 2007 FL2 XS - not so bad

 

Supporting the London Air Ambulance with my Brothers