Due to the decline of the British way of life and the continuing creeping privatisation of the Royal Mail, it was Postman Pat's last day on the job, after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon, eggs, sausage & tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup.

'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the five quid for?'

'Well,' said the blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what I should give you'.

He said, 'f*ck him. Give him a fiver.'

She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.' TDV6 HSE 2007 model, Stornoway Grey, Ivory leather,Privacy glass, Premium ICE Pack, side steps, tasmod sills, now towbar and seat covers

 Current: I can't say...Oh the Shame!
Gone: 2003 Audi S4 - 340BHP of Fun
Gone: 2005 RRS SE, Silver, Chrome Mirrors, Tinted with a stupid spare wheel!
Gone: Audi A4 2.5 TDi Quattro 180bhp
Gone: BMW 535i
Gone: 1985 Audi Quattro
Gone: Subaru Imprezza Turbo (rubbish)

 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


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