who's up for the challenge!!!!

Macdonalds has the big mac, and Hungry Jacks has the whopper, well there's
one Wellington Point diner, which is laying claim to the worlds hottest
hamburger.
The Megadeath burger isn't for the fainthearted and even comes with a
health warning because it contains ingredients that make a jalapeno look
mild.
So, what makes it so hot?
Well first there's the 10 slices of jalapenos, plus the beef pattie which
contains 2 grams of chilli powder.
Then there's the chilli jam, the sweet chilli sauce and the ground pepper.

And then there's the secret ingredient.
It's called chilli mega death sauce made from the hottest ingredients on
earth, it'll have you seeing stars, and forget about sending you to the
moon, you'll be rocketing all the way to saturn.
The Megadeath burger has a whole tablespoon of the stuff on it. And not
even the diner's owner has been able to polish one off.
If you think you've got what it takes the owners of Off the Wall welcome
anyone with the mouth and stomach strong enough to take a Megadeath
burger, to give it a go. But you have to be over 18 and not have anxiety,
asthma, or heart problems.
There's plenty of milk and yoghurt on hand to help you along the way.
The Off The Wall diner is at 386 Main Road Wellington Point - 3207 3209.
Bottles of the sauce are for sale at the diner.

This is hilarious!!! Read all the way down the bottom - where he talks
about '2 days later'.
-------------------------------
Eating Out

Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger, Off The Wall Diner, QLD, AU
--------------------------------

Dear sweet arse-raping Jesus i will make this report VERY quick because
just the memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.

First of all the burger in question can be found at the 'Off The Wall
Diner' at Wellington Point in Brisbane.
Secondly, before it gets served to you you have to put on rubber gloves.

Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.

I swear to god i have never been in so much pain in my life. i was
mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it
turned out to be i was just going to open a can of 'harden the f * ck up'
and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...

4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch.
Me, Thommo and our two better halves.

We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for psychological
backup we have 2 6 packs of Little Creatures. We drink 1 6 pack on the way
to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we arrive.

The 2 guys order the megadeath burgers to much laughter and derision from
the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.

We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we run
across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.

The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome hand made giant patty
motherf * cking things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.

Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of a
big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if we
can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get our
names on a plaque on the wall...
I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore the
burn, just push through the pain.

2 things happen immediately to my body.

1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava i am
putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.

Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shoveling the burger into my
mouth. I begin to descend into my own little hell. Staff come out and are
watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything except
the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were ringing) but
most importantly in my stomach...
And this is the problem.

The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now with
less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and refuses to
let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look for my can of
'harden the f * ck up' when I notice that my mate Thommo has stopped
eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering aimlessly
up and down the street.


He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.

I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach
explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything i have just eaten at high speed.

not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot i
pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff
can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this point
i really don't give a f * ck because i have just started to hallucinate.

No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat
there i was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug
experiences I have ever had (thats a BIG call). The closest thing I can
liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an 'e' and you
are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.

Can i recommend this burger to anyone?
No f * cking way.

Should you go and try it anyway

Absof * ckinglutely!





The Evil Burger


Mark crying like a little girl
--------------------------------------
And about 2 days later...

it is now almost 48 hours later and i have just had my second shower for
the morning.

second shower? why have 2?
because i am still white hot torrents of molten steel and i need
to cool down my puckered, torn and abraded sphincter before it decides to
go all 'china syndrome' and melt through the crust of the earth to the
core.

i swear to god all i have eaten in the past couple of days since the
'event' is stomach and anus friendly food like yoghurt, and ham and salad
rolls and yet here i am at 6am on monday morning wondering why i have just
been fisted by someone with a handful of broken glass and gravel?

the burger was evil. and it's evilness continues to taunt my bunghole.

shame on you for wanting to try this boobmeister. shame.

... and finally, a few days after that...
lol thanks for your concern f * cker

it lasted until tuesday night (i had the burger on saturday lunchtime) and
i had my first *normal* crap on wednesday morning.

my mate i went who also tried the burger with came good on tuesday
morning, but he admitted by 'good' he meant he wasn't bleeding profusely
from his anus and eyeballs at the same time.

that burger was all f * cked up.

now go try it.

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I dare Jay to have one

I am partial to my spicy food but equally partial to an intact bumhole!

Anyone tried mad dog chili sauce from the states? OUCH! WINNER - 2009 Best Newcomer Award
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i can cope with Nando's XXX Hot sauce when i call in there for a bite to eat, but in small amounts (now)

Once went out for a Thai meal, and my dish came with some really small chilli's

Shared them out to the boys and we all ate one, 1x pretended 1 x swallowed it without chewing

I chewed mine, like a k**bhead and then the heat hit me, my face went bright red slowly from the neck upwards, i couldn't speak, and had to have my asthma inhaler to help me breath, my wife just look shocked at the state i was in especially as i can take quite hot food no problem

Never again will i eat anything hotter than a Jalepino

You need to try a Scotch Bonnet Chilli then..................................... Jalapenos are dead mild compared to them! The Filipino cook onboard was made up when the shipchandler in Hong Kong supplied him with 2 small Scotch Bonnet chillies along with his normal 0.5kg order (0.5kg lasts him a month of cooking for 12 crew!) He also freezes the fresh chillies as apparently that makes them even hotter! 2020 Pangea Green 1st Edition D240 New Defender 110 is here and loving it
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Also in my garage is a 1996 TDi300 Defender 90 County HT made into a fake CSW

i have a bottle of this


In the kitchen, supposed to be great for Buffalo wings

Don't think i be getting this Bhut Jolokia though



Jalapeno chilli - 2,500-8,000SHU (Scovil Heat Units)
Scotch Bonnet/Habanero - 100,000-350,000SHU
Red Savina Habanero (Old record holder) 577,000SHU
Naga Bih/Bhut Jolokia 1,041,427SHU

Hmm... I like a challenge as much as anyone, but I think I'd have to bow out of that one gracefully. 

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Brilliant article!!!!

Tim, one NYE we were all well on our way when a mate of mine decided it would be 'Hilarious' to eat a 3 pack of scotch bonnet peppers...

After the first one it nearly came straight back up and he was just stood there, doubled over with his mouth open and free-fall saliva'ing whilst moaning in a low and frankly unsettling way.

Suffice to say he went a bit quiet after that...  Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
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When handling hyperchilis like that, always wear gloves. Or at least don't go for a pi** for several days afterwards  

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i once bought a hot sauce called "ass in space"
it really was hot, too.  MY08 TDV8 HSE
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Like many of my seagoing colleagues who sailed with Indian/ Pakistan/Bangladeshi crews I reckoned in the mid 1970's through to the end of the 1980's I had a pretty well asbestos lined digestive tract and could eat the most midblowingly hot curries ............................... then I did a trip with Indonesian crew and what the guys from the subcontinent served up was really very mild compared to what the Indonesians packed into their foods. Unfortunately as a result of over indulging in too many Indonesian and Malay spicy dishes I now have a fretwork, tissuepaper lined stomach and digestive tract and limit myself to a Korma - even that can give me severe indigestion and pains. SO enjoy these superhot dishes and don't eat them several times a day every day like I used to - with my first employer there was curry in one form or another on the menu three times a day, they become very antisocial and it isn't too long before the smell of curry paste starts coming out in your sweat, which is OK if all your colleagues are doing the same thing but not nice for your family when you return home after a voyage! 2020 Pangea Green 1st Edition D240 New Defender 110 is here and loving it
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Also in my garage is a 1996 TDi300 Defender 90 County HT made into a fake CSW

Last edited by Tim in Scotland on Tue Mar 10 2009 3:40pm. Edited 1 time in total

shmoogle wrote:

When handling hyperchilis like that, always wear gloves. Or at least don't go for a pi** for several days afterwards

it also goes for touching your eye whilst cutting jalepino chillis as the pain was very bad

God knows what pepper spray would be like as thats supposed to be 100 times stronger

and according to my brother you don't touch your wife in bed when you have been handling chillis

I've done that (accidentally touched my eye that is, not your brother's wife) after chopping up chilis.

It's painful and the thing is once you've done it, it's very difficult to get rid of  

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