A man walks into the doctors....

Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"

Man - "I've got an orange willy doc."

Doc - "What?"

Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."

Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up.... It seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"

Man - "Not really."

Doc - "What about stress at work?"

Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack."

Doc - "That sounds very stressful."

Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great - half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated."

Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"

Man - "Well, my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non-stop and puts me down every chance she gets."

Doc - "That sounds stressful."

Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."

Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"

Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."

Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"

Man - "Watch porn videos and eat Wotsits." Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!

Is this Jay you're talking about? 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

 Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!

Is jay not a Twiglet handler ? L322 Big Daddy SUPERCHARGED 5.0 Autobiography - Here & Now!

5 series for the miles

RRS S/C factory built HST - Gone

45 others have been and gone!

Gentlemen - that reminds me .......


A man walks into a doctor's waiting room - looking and feeling very nervous.

He sits next to a bloke he knows who also looks very nervous and is shifting around uncomforatbly in his seat.

The two get talking and discover that they are suffering from the same bizare condition. One has a red ring around the base of his willy, the other has a green ring. They both nervously discuss what might be causing it, and what the treatment may be.

The chap with the red ring is called in to see the doctor first.

3 minutes later he comes back out - looking very happy and relieved. He tells his mate that there is nothing to worry about, the Doc took one quick look and after swabbing his red ringed willy down with some cream the red ring disappeared and all was well.

The chap with the green ring is much relieved and when he goes in to see the Doctor he proudly shows his green ringed willy. The Doctor takes a close look, starts muttering to himself and looks rather concerned. The chaps says - nothing to worry about Doctor, can't I just have some of that magic cream you used for the last man.

The Doctor says - "I am sorry my man but it will have to come off".

The bloke replies, "I know Doc, that's what the cream is for, isn't it?"

"No sir" says the Doctor "I am afraid we will have to amputate your member straight away".

"But, but, but why Doc, the cream worked fine for the last chap with the red ring".

To which the Doc replies :

"I am sorry sir - but there is a big difference between lipstick and gangreen"

Boom boom ! RRS TDv8 HSE Rimini
Disco 4 TDv6 HSE Ipanema
Defender 90, 200tdi CSW

A beautiful girl is lying in a hospital bed about to undergo minor surgery. Soon after she is wheeled into the corridor by a nurse, then left alone.

While the nurse is away, a young man in a white coat approaches the girl, takes the sheets away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and starts examining her.

When a third man comes over and begins to examine her body, the girl begins to grow impatient. "All of this examining is great, you guys are really thorough," she says. "But when will I be having my operation?"

The first man shrugs his shoulders. "Beats me. We're just painting the hall." Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!

TB  Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (

will_wonka wrote:

Is jay not a Twiglet handler ?

No i told you lot the other day what i have  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Genital warts? 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

A weenie.  Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!

Ladies bits?  Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (

A man walked into the vegetable section of his local supermarket and asked for half a head of lettuce. The boy working there told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy asked his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some tosser wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later, the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from son?"

"Originally from Essex sir," the boy replied.

"Why did you leave Essex?" the manager asked.

The boy answered, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Essex."

"No !" the boy replied. "Who does she play for?" Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!

 RRS TDV8 HSE 2007- JAVA Black/Black interior,
UK BMW M3 CSL SB- now sold
1968 Innocenti mini

 Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (

[quote="TB"Some tosser wants to buy a [/quote]


I would never say anything like that!  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)