WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE


Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've

already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Euro star.

No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:

'ASYLUM'.

Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.

They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area in Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.

Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counselors are waiting to help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovo drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas... COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.

Remember

Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

If it wasn't so accurate it'd be funny  

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

We have a lot of winners in our area - must be a lucky postcode  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

once upon a time in the faraway times. it was we the british where the lottery winners. only then the password was invasion.
also the jackpot was far more profitable. gold, diamonds, plantation, and lots of land. too bad the table has turn. its now time. for us to give back a bit.
in these dreaded times. we as a nation must understand. that these poor people are not the. root of destruction and terrorism.
they don't make c4, guns, and bullets. all these are made by the big man on the mountain top. which help to fatten pockets for him and his gangs (politicians)

ohh well life is a cycle and nothing stays the same forever, good times and bad times. at the moment i think the country is in a slightly bad time.
but again it won't last for every. that means really good times should be around the corner.

i love england

AND HERES THE HOST WITH THE MOST..................... Abuu......... Hamzaaaaaaaa..........