The missus bought a Paperback
...down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
...

....T'was "fifty shades of grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
.....I must dominate her !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.
 In Spain - 2018 F Pace - Frightened away from the Sports due to crank failures
Gone - A couple of RRS, A couple of Disco's. However thinking of another Sport.

 Wanted a Series 2 LR since childhood but previously owned MY16 Disco Sport HSE TD4 Auto, MY13 RR Sport Black Edition TDV6 Auto, MY10 RR Sport HSE TDV6 Auto, 2007 Freelander 1 Freestyle TD4 Soft Top, 2009 Freelander 2 GS TD4 Auto, 2007 Freelander 2 GS TD4, 2004 Disco 2 Metropolis Auto, 2002 Disco 2 GS, 2000 Freelander 1 SE TD4 SW

Still hoping for a S2 one day!

Excellent'

 2013 Discovery HSE Luxury - 3.0 SDV6 - Santorini Black
2013 Evoque 5 Door Pure Tech SD4 - Orkney Grey with Panoramic Roof (Mrs E's new baby)

GONE - RRS - 3.0 TDV6 HSE - Santorini (2010)
GONE - RRS - 2.7 TDV6 HSE - Java Black (2007)
GONE - Porsche Boxster S - 3.2 - Black

Love it  2013 HSE Black Edition with lots of toys
2010 Fuji White RRS HSE
Rear Camera, Command Shift
Colour coded bumpers +
Side Steps & Mud Flaps
Privacy Glass
2008 RRS HSE Black

Superb...

I just had some visions of you stepping on her t...
 It is what it is and I am what I am....

 FF 4.4 V8 Soooo looking forward to this bad boy
Ex 2006 RRS SC - garbage
Ex 2016 135i M Sport - dream car
Ex 2003 RS6 Avant - piece of cr*p
Ex 2014 320d X Drive, M Sport Touring - ok I guess
Ex 2007 RRS TDV8 - bloody loved it
EX 2007 FL2 XS - not so bad

 
L 405 2013 FFRR 5.0 SC
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WINNER - 2009 �Best Avatar� Award
WINNER - 2009 Comedian Of The Year Award